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Elliott Dunstan

  • Home
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  • About Me
  • Bell, Clock and Candle (Elessa)
    • The Nowhere Bird (Bell, Clock and Candle #1)
  • ALKIMIA FABLES
  • The Battle of Billings Bridge

    February 14th, 2022

    Dedicated with love to Zexi Li, Sam Hersh, Shawn Menard, Catherine McKenney, Jeff Leiper, Noelle Narwhal, the Ram Ranch Resistance and so many others who have been fighting to make Ottawa safe; as well as the Algonquin-Anishinaabe peoples of Ottawa and the First Nations, Indigenous, Inuit, and Metis people across Canada who have been mourning their finally-found children among this chaos.

    Anybody is free to record this as long as you tell me about it; just email me a link to whatever you did with it so I’m in the loop, and give credit to Elliott Dunstan. Tablature and proper recording to follow. (Er, hopefully, anyway.)

    The events retold in this song really occurred. In fact, I left out a lot.

    Image
    Art by @DylanPenner

    Verse 1

    G
    The Freedom Convoy started with

    D
    A lot of griping men

    D7
    With too much spite in their blood

    Am G
    And too much time on their hands

    Em
    They were sick of COVID—

    Am Em Am
    Like the rest of us ain’t too

    Em G D
    They decided they would protest it

    C D G
    Just like the commies do

    2.

    So they got in their big big trucks
    And belched out petrol fumes
    They painted signs of ‘Fuck Trudeau’
    And ‘We’re fighting for you too!’
    They claimed cultists along the way
    Who hated the vaccines
    And claimed to all the media —
    We’re the biggest that you’ve seen!

    3.

    The cowardly lions laid red carpet
    Wolves in sheepcoat brought ‘em in
    The birds in cages sang their warnings
    But no-one did anything —
    And they stayed, and stayed, and stayed
    Where everybody lived
    And the birds all shrieked out, baby, baby,
    something’s gotta give!

    4.

    Just hold your hats, said the cops to the rest
    We’ll get this cleared up in a jiff
    Then they shot the breeze with their buddy Steve
    and traded off hot tips
    We’ll be right along, said the OPP
    We’re giving invitations out
    They might get lost in their giant trucks
    And we’ll have to fish them out!

    5.

    The grannies cluck and the soccer moms tut
    and the queers all look around —
    this ain’t our land, but we find it grand
    and we’d rather stand our ground
    For the coffee shops and the mom and pops
    And our sleepy big small town
    We’re a quiet lot but it’s what we’ve got
    And y’all won’t burn it down

    6.

    Of course they laughed in their great big cars
    with their great big caps and their flags
    Oh the poor elite has to breathe in tar,
    We had to get vaxxed!
    They laughed at one and they laughed at two
    And they mocked and jeered and cried
    Until they honked their horrible horns –
    – and we wouldn’t stand aside.

    7.

    This is getting big, said a pig to a pig
    should we tell them to go home?
    Sure, said his bud, we should break em up
    But leave the white old boys alone!
    I’m tired of this crowd that’s getting loud
    and telling us to do our jobs
    It’s a tough occupation in the heart of the nation
    Telling Natives to fuck off!

    8.

    Cause the thin blue line don’t seem that thin
    When you’re standing in its way
    But they messed up bad when they picked their lads
    And it’s time they rued the day
    The war ain’t won but we fired no guns
    This wasn’t Vimy Ridge
    But there’s honour and glory in telling the story
    of the Battle of Billings Bridge!

    9.

    Cause it starts with one and it starts with two
    A lawsuit, a sign or a shout
    And by week three, running on no sleep
    A group all coming out —
    They walked their dogs and they crossed the road
    And they stopped and stayed and stood
    Before too long the word caught on
    And Lord, the word was good.  

    10.

    And three came along and four came too
    And five just stopped on by
    And six and eight said this seems great
    With the truckers screaming why?
    Cause ten turns into hundreds, boy
    And a hundred multiplies
    And the battle of Billings Bridge was born
    At Bank and Riverside!

    11.

    If hell has a sound it’s horns
    And the idling of a Ford
    It’s been three weeks, with junk knee-deep
    And Sloly grows the horde
    Not on my watch, said the Ram Ranch crew
    Thousands turning out
    And just you wait, Jim, duck your head-
    We’ll be round to throw you out!

    12.

    The grannies scowl and the moms cry foul
    and the queers all block the way —
    this ain’t our land, time to give it back
    to the Anishinaabe–
    For the children lost, and the pain you’ve caused
    And our sleepy big small town
    We’re a quiet lot but it’s what we’ve got
    And y’all won’t burn it down

    13.

    Well how does this end? Said a pig to his friend
    And said again to the crowd
    You should have kept quiet, but we won’t riot
    We’re just gonna get real loud!
    You abandoned us to the fumes and rust
    To the fires and the raves and the smell
    We won’t hurt you but when we’re through
    You’ll be in bureaucratic Hell

    14.

    The bravest soldiers don’t bear arms
    But Timbits, tuques and gloves
    Protest signs and linked-arm lines
    And anger born of love
    The war ain’t won but we fired no guns
    This wasn’t Vimy Ridge
    But there’s honour and glory in telling the story
    of the Battle of Billings Bridge!

    15.

    And it ended quiet and ended good
    And I suppose we didn’t know
    That in the night before the light
    Our exploits reached Trudeau
    He called his Cabinet to him
    Called the premiers in the morn
    And the very next day, he came to say —
    It’s time to kill the horns!

    16.

    So honkies out and turn about
    Fascists will not win
    The Ivermectin Insurrection
    Won’t be movin’ in
    If you’re young or old or shy or bold
    There’s something you can give
    Always remember we’re stronger together
    –The Battle of Billings Bridge!!

  • Chapter 11: Endless Waters

    January 30th, 2022
    CW: death/murder, body horror, background racism

    Prior to the Forrath years, deaths from feral magic were matters of people wandering out-of-bounds, or active attacks. However, as Forrath’s influence grew worse, something equally terrible began to rise in response to his cruelties; humans attempting to bypass the intense study of structured magic entirely and make deals with the devil. While rumours abound, of course, none of these worked; but they had a much more gruesome effect, of both killing would-be rebels and giving away their locations and activities to Forrath’s enforcers. After all, when feral magic destroys a human body, it’s rarely discreet about it.

    It bears repeating, however, that there has never been a successful case of a human directly interacting with and controlling feral magic for more than seconds at a time – and even those cases cause untold damage to the psyche and body. As a result, the vast majority of investigations entail understanding where the victim got both their materials and their ideas; investigating the victim just as much as their death. One would hope that their death alone would dissuade anyone else from trying it, but it’s always good to be safe.

    -Report from the desk of Thaumatist-Colonel Albertssohn Baer, Investigations, 1919

    Investigations was in the same fenced-off area as the building they’d been in the other day. It was a shorter, stubbier building, linked to another building across the barricades with a strange brick-and-glass enclosed bridge… thing. It seemed easier to Csindra to take down the barricades, but hey, she didn’t work for bloodsucking leeches—

    Shit. She supposed she did.

    There went her dignity.

    She couldn’t decide if she was more or less unhappy with the idea of entering the Cop Building than the Anti-Terrorist Building, but she didn’t really get a choice. So she followed Rook up, comforting herself as much as she could with the reminder that she had her axe this time. Worst came to worst, she’d take some of them down with her.

    Lovely. Now you’re having violent murder-suicide fantasies. Maybe Jacob had a point.

    “You could look a little less like you’re walking into an execution room,” Rook teased a little. “Olivadocht’s not that bad. A little loud, that’s all.”

    “Olivadocht?”

    “Oh, we all call her that.”

    This wasn’t helping with the sense of alienation. She tried not to sound too irritated as they got to the landing. “I do not understand the name thing. You’ve all got three names, but is everyone here related to each other?”

    “You must know what the manor families are.”

    …Sort of. “I know they’re nobility. Haven’t gotten the foggiest idea beyond that. They call the shots, and that’s all I know.” She admittedly knew a bit more than that, that there were twenty or thirty of them. And who some of them were. But there was the vague understanding that these people were In Charge, and then there was the nitty-gritty of what that actually meant, when you had to care about more than just not pissing them off.

    Rook just snickered a little, although there was a bit of an edge to it. “Yeah, that’s an understatement.” He knocked on the door

    Oh, very helpful. She didn’t have time to ask anything more than that, though. The door opened in response to his knock – and suddenly she was being dragged into the office, with Rook’s sigh of protest drifting after her.

    “Wh-”

    “Finally, finally! I thought we’d never get another girl in our neck of the woods—”

    “You’re not allowed to steal her, Olivadocht,” Rook groaned, rubbing his forehead. His lack of real panic was the only thing stopping her from reacting more violently – as it was, she was tempted.

    Instead, she managed to steal her arm back out of Olivadocht’s grip with a note of complaint. “I’m right here.” She tried to take in the woman in front of her, who was looking her up and down in — not quite the same way as Scheffen. Scheffen had been cold, calculating, but with a hint of something else lurking under the mask, something that could have been warm or monstrous or something else entirely. It was too well hidden to say. This woman was… well, for one, grinning so widely she looked like she’d pop at any moment. She was worryingly blonde, with big eyelashes, cropped curls bouncing around her head, and the lingering scent of lilac perfume around her like an aura. In short? Terrifying, in a completely different way.

    Csindra took a few steps back and tried not to look like she was hiding behind Rook.

    “Aw, I was being friendly,” The apparent Olivadocht gave a slight pout. Olivadocht hadn’t really prepared her as a name for the amount of, uh, Flapper Femme she was faced with. She wasn’t sure what she had expected, to b

    “Yeah, she’s not,” Rook laughed in response. Csindra promptly rammed her knee into the back of his. “Ow! Case in point.”

    Olivadocht waggled her eyebrows, leaning in slightly. “Has he been bothering you? Because I know how to take care of men who are bad at hearing no—”

    “You’re talking to a girl with a battleaxe, Olive, I’m pretty sure she could teach you something about it. And, no, I haven’t, Olive,” Rook added with a firm note and a blush spreading over his face. Poor boy. Csindra couldn’t help but sympathize. At least when she was flustered, it didn’t get signposted so hard the ants could see it.

    “You know I’m teasing, love. That is a big axe, though—”

    Csindra moved her shoulder away before Olive could get too close. “Any finger it kisses, it keeps. And the joke’s getting old. He’s been fine.”

    Olive swiftly retrieved the finger, although she was smiling. “What’s your name, darling?”

    “Csindra. Djaneki.”

    “No rank?” Olive asked after a beat passed and Csindra realized she’d been waiting for more.

    “I’m not military,” she replied, and then after realizing the burning glare at her neck was Rook, amended it. “I’m a contractor.”

    “Oh, I see.” There was a little gleam of mischief in Olive’s eyes. “Well, dear, I assume someone neglected to mention that contractors still have a base rank of Sergeant.”

    “…Do they,” she mumbled, returning Rook’s suddenly quailing glare. “And I suppose they have to salute, too.” More and more she was feeling like she’d been talked into selling her soul.

    “Not – not generally,” Rook was clearly trying to salvage it, but Olive just laughed, turning around and leading the two of them between the rows of desks down to the other office door. It wasn’t quite a twin to the set-up over in NatSec, but it was similar, with a few Investigations soldiers glancing up at them in curiosity and others abandoning all pretense and looking them – her, really – over with undisguised interest. She recognized Hank at one of the desks, and he gave her an uneasy but genuine smile. So that’s what he did when he wasn’t getting pushed around by Rook.

    “It depends on the contractor, dear. You should be alright, but you’ll have to introduce yourself with Sergeant, yes. Salutes are… tricky territory. But I’d suggest it for the properly higher-ups. Standard practice is name, rank and regiment. For example, officially, I’m Major Baer, 298th NEI.”

    “National Elessan Investigators.”

    “That’s right,” Olive said, and Csindra decided to pretend not to notice the amount of surprise in her voice.

    “I’ve already met a Baer so far. Uh —” She fumbled through her memory. She’d met a lot of people the day before. “2nd Lieutenant something?”

    “Ah, yes, Tiff.” Olive smiled. “Sweet girl.”

    “You’re not sisters.”

    “No, no. There’s so many Baers in the military. That’s why Rook calls me Olivadocht, or Olive. A lot of people do. My actual name is Roxanna Olivadocht, but first-name basis is a little too familiar for the army.”

    Csindra cast a sly look at Rook, who just quietly coughed and ignored her. “…Noted.”

    Olive opened the door to her office, and when the two of them were inside, closed it behind them with a discreet ‘click’. Rook immediately flopped comfortably into one of the upholstered chairs; Csindra stayed standing, because she couldn’t shake the wrongness of being in a military building to begin with. She wasn’t stupid enough to start getting casual about it.

    Olive gave her an odd look, then plucked an abaca folder from her desktop. “You’re working for Rook for now, I assume you’ve got identical clearance?”

    “Close enough,” Rook yawned.

    “You know that’s not an answer—” Olive started, then sighed, pressing two fingers to the bridge of her nose. “Never mind. I’m not doing this with you again.”

    “Just hurry up and tell me about this murder case or whatever.”

    Olive gave Csindra a despairing look before moving behind her desk. “Murder case is a little general, but at least I know what you’re talking about. I requested NatSec support for a reason, but it’s not pretty.”

    Csindra doubted most murder cases were. She came a little closer to the desk as Olive opened the abaca folder – and caught the little twitch from the other woman. So much for welcoming. She’d figured the cute thing was a front.

    A moment later, though, Olive turned the folder around, pushing it towards her. “Nine recorded deaths so far, at least with this pattern.”

    There were photos. Csindra picked one of them up, shoving her twinge of hurt aside – and then nearly dropped it. It’d taken her a second, but…

    “What is it?” Rook asked curiously. She couldn’t quite put together an answer. The sepia toning had almost hidden what the substance on the asphalt actually was, and she’d taken the scattered bits of white for – for pebbles, maybe, or some other debris—

    She put the photo down hurriedly and retreated to the office wall, leaning her head and hands against the cool wall and trying to steady the spinning in her head.

    It sounds morbid until you see it.

    Édjan’na wasn’t supposed to do that. Édjan’na didn’t do that.

    “Oh, damn. Olive, you could have told me this was one of the really messy ones. Who was he?”

    “Ansel Rolandsohn Riviere. Heir to the Third Manor.”

    “Hm. Not anymore.”

    Rook was joking about it. How on earth was he joking about it? That had been an actual person.

    Get yourself together, you wimp, she snapped at herself. She was a mercenary. She’d seen dead bodies before. Just… normally not exploded. Or — it looked like he’d been turned inside out.

    Dimly, Csindra processed… something.

    “Decompression,” she said, and her voice sounded like it was coming from miles away.

    “Hm?”

    “Is there… another picture of him?”

    “Are you sure, dear?” Olive asked — kindly, which just made her feel worse. “You already look a bit ill.”

    “I’m fine. Just wasn’t expecting it.” She managed to pull herself away from the wall, and took the photo that Olive offered her, making herself look at it. This photo was from directly above, and she could see more details now. He’d literally exploded, but not the normal way. “I’ve uh — I’ve seen this before. Not in people.”

    “Really?” Olive actually looked interested. Rook just looked skeptical.

    “There’s a lake in Etamara – Lake Meliǩénate.” She scratched a little at her arm. “I hate it, personally. It’s the deepest lake in Elessa.”

    “How deep is that?”

    “Deep enough that sun doesn’t reach the bottom, that’s all I know. Anyway, some people actually practice holding their breath to go catch the fish from way down in the bottom, and when they bring them up, the fish end up looking like that. All…”

    “Exploded?” Olive offered, looking a little queasy.

    Csindra nodded. Rook was giving her a fascinated look, which just made the whole thing worse. “Did you ever—”

    “Not in a million years.” What she didn’t say was that she couldn’t even get close to Meliǩénate. Neither of them had seen it, clearly. It wasn’t a normal lake. It was more like a crater; a cave that had been torn open to the sky and still had edges that surged up past the water, far enough that during the dry season, it was a good six foot drop to the water itself. No, you couldn’t pay her to get anywhere it. The corpses of the fish brought up from its depths just made it that much worse. She’d eat them once they were cooked, sure, but not happily, and only if there was nothing else — and she preferred not to look at them at all.

    “If it’s a natural phenomenon, that makes sense. Feral magic can copy anything natural—”

    Csindra bit back her strangled reaction at copy.

    “—but I can’t see a Riviere fuckin’ around with feral magic. And you said this is a pattern.”

    “Yes. That’s why I figured the 214th should get involved. Nine deaths like this, all feral magic, all similar… uh, results. And look at the names.” She slid the list of names over. Csindra peered over Rook’s shoulder. Elessan names didn’t mean anything to her, but she was seeing a couple other Rivieres on there.

    “Cousins?” she asked with a quip.

    Olive didn’t seem to find it funny. Csindra looked back down at the names, then at Rook – who was looking much less casual. “They’re all Rivieres, huh?”

    “Not officially,” Olive sighed. “You know how it works. The Beckers don’t work for the Rivieres on paper.”

    Nine deaths. Csindra counted three Rivieres – and four Beckers. The other two had the last names Hedrick, and —

    Oh. A nasty feeling coiled in Csindra’s stomach. Angtaiki. That wasn’t Elessan.

    “One of these is Tosaka. Do you have anything more on him?”

    “Give me a moment.” Olive pulled out another piece of paper. Csindra wasn’t surprised that it seemed to have the least information — even if Elessans hadn’t been so continually dismissive of anybody from the clans, she doubted there was much information on him to begin with. She was proven right when she scanned over the file, pausing at the picture of him before his death that they’d managed to acquire. He was young, although old enough that he’d gotten his tattoos. Not on his face, nobody got them on their face anymore unless they were criminally stupid; but they snuck up past the starched collar of his shirt, designs barely visible. He’d worked for one of the other victims – Paul Jacobsohn Becker, which, god, all their names sounded the same after a while. Probably a bodyguard or blade for hire, just like her.

    Olive and Rook were still talking. That was fine. She was just trying to wrap her head around how feral magic worked from this side of things. Sure, she’d dealt with it before. It was like anything else. It could kill you, if you crossed it the wrong way. But there was a malevolence here that she wasn’t used to. When people called it down on their own heads, sure, they got what was coming to them…

    …and if he hadn’t had his damn tattoos, maybe she wouldn’t have been so hesitant. Tosaka culture wasn’t Kanet’ culture, but she knew enough to know that if you got your tattoos, and you kept your name, you were probably smart enough not to mess with édjan’na for no reason. Someone who spent the hours with his elders necessary to get those tattoos in the first place had heard all the stories, all the words of warning, how to keep the odjanien happy and away from you and yours. Of course, he’d probably heard the lectures about not going into her line of work, but that was different. You had to make a living somehow.

    She sighed, pressing the abaca folder to her head. She was projecting. He’d probably done nothing wrong but be in the way.

    “So what are you thinking?” Rook asked Olive, still sounding almost devastatingly casual about the whole thing. “If this was one person, I’d think it was a botched attempt to use feral magic, or someone making a mistake somewhere, but this is spread out over, what, three weeks? Nine people? And none of ‘em are thaums, either.”

    Olive shook her head. “Not a one. I’m wondering if it’s a demon.”

    “Demons aren’t this smart.”

    “Some of them are.”

    “Okay, reword,” Rook amended. “Demons don’t give a shit about family names, unless there’s some other connection, and you guys are the serial killer squad, you would have found something before tossing it over to me.”

    That much was true, Csindra thought grimly — although once again she was struck by how much she hated the way they were talking about édjan’na and its creatures. Demons. There was nothing demonic about most of them.

    “It’s probably a person,” Csindra murmured, not really saying it out loud, but both of their eyes suddenly shot over to her. Her stomach flipped suddenly. She hadn’t thought that through. “I mean — I mean, this seems like someone with a grudge, right?”

    “People can’t use feral magic,” Olive sighed, sliding the papers back into the folder. “Trust me, I thought of it, but if it was possible, we’d know about it by now.”

    Rook’s cold gaze didn’t move from Csindra for a solid few seconds, pale irises like ice boring into her — and then he tore his eyes away, snorting. “Yeah, the longest we’ve seen any idiot last is what, a few minutes?”

    “Technically, the record is three days.”

    “Yeah, with some dinky freshwater shit and it still killed them. Slowly.” Rook scratched the back of his neck. “I’ll take the files, though. I’ll figure something out.” Another cold glare from Rook. She’d said too much — and even then, she knew perfectly well that wasn’t anger from Rook. At least, not purely. It was fear.

    ——

    After the matter with Pieter Janssen, Rook didn’t try to make friends anymore. Oh, he hadn’t really been trying before; he’d been sort of vaguely attempting the gestures he saw around him. And he and Pieter, despite appearances, had almost been friends, at least by any metric Rook could figure out. Sure, Pieter had pushed him around. Pieter had also talked to him more than anybody else did.

    So when Pieter didn’t come back to school – transferring out of the academy entirely — Rook wasn’t surprised when rather than picking up the slack and going back to picking on ‘Ghost’, the rest of the boys in the academy simply chose not to speak to him at all.

    It could have been worse, he supposed. Pieter could have come back. Or died.

    He just spent most of his time in various nooks and crannies, reading. When he wasn’t reading, he was practicing seals and incantations behind the cover of whatever library book he had on hand. They were useless without any wicks or lenses or instruments, and really, you didn’t need a lot of them, but they took the burden off of a thaumatist’s mind to carry all of the pieces of a spell on its own. Besides, he liked the way they looked and sounded. They occupied his mind, and it needed a lot of occupying. When he was having a day like today, it felt like even reading and practicing seals wasn’t enough to stop a third rail of thoughts from pounding through the back of his head.

    You could practice Bloodwork.

    He’d promised.

    Rook yanked in annoyance on his long sleeves, then slouched back against the tree he’d claimed for himself. He’d been good and not cut himself at all since Scheffen had told him off about it, but there didn’t seem to be much point. Sometimes he woke up and his elbow or wrist would just… be yelling at him. Other times after eating he felt so dizzy he’d considered – or actually had, once or twice – making himself throw up to see if it helped. Normal stuff, he figured, or as normal as puberty seemed to get – every time he tried to ask about any of it, people kept defaulting to that, so he supposed that explained plenty.

    Something scampered through the long grass in front of him; he cast his eyes briefly upwards, then snorted and returned his gaze to his book. That, he was starting to suspect, was less normal. Over the last year or so, especially after coming to Den Elessa, he’d noticed that the wildlife and living things that were notoriously shy around everybody else didn’t give him the same wide berth. It didn’t help the reputation he had with others, but he’d gotten used to it. It seemed like every month there was something else vying for his attention. Last month, he’d kept finding frogs in his apartment — in fact, he’d joked to himself that it might be the same dratted frog every time, sneaking its way back in. Still, it was a little unnerving, especially with how seriously his teachers talked about the threat of feral magic. The wild was full of temptations and promises, they warned, but the power of the wild was interested in one thing and one thing only – consuming humankind into itself and destroying what they had created.

    All very dramatic, Rook sighed, raising his head to look at the squirrel’s bushy tail as it twitched about the green-and-yellow blades. If you cared for those kinds of theatrics, or could figure out what people found so terrifying about squirrels and weeds.

    His train of thought ground to a sudden, startled halt as the squirrel lifted its head and met his gaze with four iridescent, triangular eyes in a face that was — well, it wasn’t human. But it certainly wasn’t a squirrel’s face either. Some mix of the two.

    Rook froze — then scrambled to his left, grabbing his saxophone. Of course he hadn’t had his flute with him, oh no, it couldn’t be the normal instrument. He’d been doing so well with the flute that he wanted to try something else for a change. As he did, the thing that was — especially now that he was looking at it properly — far too big to be an actual squirrel started to walk, then run towards him.

    He put his mouth to the reed —

    — and a dissonant blare came out. Ow. At least the demon seemed to agree. Come on, come on, come on. You were learning this yesterday. Binding spells in – in, uh, major, with —

    Too much thinking. He exhaled, and let his instincts guide him.

    The demon threw itself at him again, but its clawed front paws hit the air and sank into it like soft dirt. It tried to pull them back — but they were stuck. Rook tried not to smirk, and focused on playing the pattern over again. What was he playing? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t making it up — it was something he’d heard, maybe changed enough to work as the spell he needed.

    He’d never actually done this before.

    Oh, sure, there was what he’d done to Pieter. But that had been mostly Bloodwork. Pure instinct. This was him using an actual spell — and more importantly, he wasn’t hurting anybody. Even the demon was unharmed, if stuck.

    “There it is!”

    The shout surprised him enough that he bit down – and between the sound of his reed cracking and the sting of his tongue, he missed the demon’s enraged leap until the claws raked his nose. “Motherf—”

    “I got it!”

    He’d vaguely smelled it before, but the smell of smoke got stronger, and he felt the static rise on his arms as something was cast; what exactly he couldn’t tell without looking, but when he opened his eyes again, the demon was trapped on the ground, and there were two new people in front of him. One was holding a simple Smokework wick – just two branches bound and burning at the top — and the other was carefully opening up a cage, looking even more disheveled than her male companion. She glared up at the man holding the Smokework wick. “I asked for your help specifically, specifically so that this didn’t happen—”

    “Phania, when you said you had a specimen, I thought you meant a dead one. Where did you even get a living drabuka?”

    “I have my ways,” she sniffed at him. “You should be lucky for little girls. If it weren’t for her, you’d be getting court-martialed.”

    “I’m sorry, okay—?”

    Rook felt himself going pink, and rubbed the cut on his nose, wincing a little as he looked over the two. The older one was in a uniform, at least; dark green and only slightly crumpled. The younger one — the girl — was in a shin-length dress, long hair pulled back in a ponytail and covered with a flat, broad-brimmed hat. Certainly nobody he’d seen around before, at least that he consciously remembered. “I’m not—” Oh, whatever. It wasn’t the first time he’d been mistaken for a girl. “What’s a drabuka?”

    The girl had the drabuka half in the cage, and blinked a little at hearing his voice, before finally getting the door closed and looking up at him. “Oh, goodness, sorry. The – the hair, that’s all—”

    “It’s better than some of the other things I get called,” he sighed.

    The man just covered a small grin. “Oh, hell, I know who you are.”

    Rook took a small step backwards despite himself — Phania gave her companion a whack on the knee. “Don’t scare him like that.”

    “Sorry. You’re Scheffen’s kid, right?”

    …Of course that was how Scheffen talked about him. “She isn’t my mother,” he protested. “I just… um…” Well, alright, there wasn’t a lot of ways of explaining that she paid for his food, lodgings and clothing that didn’t end up sounding a bit like she was his mother. “Yes, that’s me. Rook Zeesohn.”

    “Yeah, I heard about you. I thought that looked like clean Bard lines for a student. Phan, he’s twelve.”

    “That’s not funny.” Then Phania looked at him with a curious gaze. “Really?”

    “Is that weird?” he asked — and just found himself more confused when Phania scowled, dramatically.

    “You’re just young to be that talented, that’s all,” she said, sounding a little like she was pulling teeth.

    The older man just got another cackle off. “I’m Wolfie. This is my little sister, Phania, who’s already trying to be the youngest thaumatist on record at sixteen. And not quite there yet.”

    “I am close, Wolfie. And besides, I don’t care if I’m the youngest, I care about being the youngest girl, which means I have to be under twenty, that’s all.”

    “How gracious.” Wolfie waggled his eyebrows at Rook. “So you’ll beat her if you’re under that.”

    “I hate you.”

    Rook shook his head, although he wasn’t sure what he was shaking it to. “I don’t — uh — I mean, I don’t think I’m —” Then he rubbed the back of his neck, suddenly at a loss for what had just happened. “Who are you again?” he asked weakly.

    “Right, you’re the amnesiac.”

    “Wolfie.”

    “What? Oh, that’s insensitive, huh?”

    Rook was struck with the urge to laugh. “Is that relevant?”

    “Not really, except that you don’t know how shit works yet. I work with Scheffen. Technically, she bosses me around, and I let her, because she’s hot and can kill me—”

    “And I’m going to rescue you from my brother before he gets all three of us killed by Scheffen,” Phania interjected. Then to Wolfie — “That’s his mother, you ass.”

    “She’s not my mother,” Rook protested again. Then — “I’d still rather not hear it.”

    “See?” She gave Rook a pat on the shoulder. “I, on the other hand, don’t work for Scheffen.”

    “You’re fifteen. You don’t work for anybody.”

    “And I don’t plan to. I’m aiming for Thaumatist-Independent.”

    Wolfie just rolled his eyes again, then gave Rook a little bow of his head. “…I appreciate the help,” he said, a little ruefully. “I don’t normally get taken by surprise.”

    “Do you normally have to deal with demons?” he replied, eyeing the locked and rattling cage with trepidation. He couldn’t blame Wolfie for being unprepared. But Wolfie just pulled a face.

    “I don’t normally have to keep them alive.”

    Rook refused to let his jaw actually drop, but from the smothered giggle from Phania, his face was saying plenty on its own. “So you do this all the time?”

    “Chasing drabukas? No. Dealing with feral magic? Yes.”

    The proud look on his look was deflated with another jab in the side from Phania’s elbow. “He’s a Second Lieutenant,” she clarified. “Only been in the job what, six months?”

    “And you’re not on it at all. Do you know how much trouble I can get you into?”

    She stuck her tongue out at him. “Love to see you try. For your information, Uncle Stef said it was fine.”

    “So if I go ask him about it, I’m not going to find out you floated this as a complete theoretical, right?”

    Rook couldn’t help it — he burst into helpless giggles at the look on Phania’s face. “You don’t tell Uncle Stef about the drabuka,” she muttered, “I don’t tell Scheffen you let it escape.”

    Then the two of them, as one, turned to look at Rook.

    “What?” he asked, before it dawned on him. “Ohh. You need me to stay quiet.” An impish smile crept onto his face. “…So how much should I charge for my silence?”

    “Oh, great, he’s just like Scheffen,” Wolfie groaned in frustration, clapping a hand to his forehead before running it through his sweat-soaked hair. He was interesting, Rook decided; not just because he worked with Scheffen, but because he was the first young thaumatist he’d met — well, him and Phania, but he hadn’t actually seen Phania do any thaumaturgy yet. Then it tracked—

    “I am not,” he squawked.

    “Aww, don’t worry. He doesn’t mean it badly. I bet she’s mean to you, though. Makes you go to bed on time and everything.”

    Rook nearly said no, then decided against it; the utter bemusement he felt at the idea probably said something, but he didn’t know what. Once he got a good look at Phania’s face, though — “You’re making fun of me.”

    “Only a little! The nice way. Come on, we’ll buy you lunch. You can decide how else to extort us along the way.”

    “I — I have school.”

    “We’ll write you a nice note or something. We’re Vandemeers, we can do that.”

    “You think Scheffen will care?” Wolfie asked with an eyebrow raised.

    “I think she’s smarter than to get mad at me,” she shot back. “You, well, you’re always pissing her off in one way or another, you might as well earn it.”

    Rook eyed the cage again. “…Will you explain what that thing is?”

    “Yes! With great joy.”

    “She likes demons so much she’d marry ‘em,” Wolfie snorted.

    “You take that back. You’re disgusting.”

    “Oh, please, like I haven’t seen you drawing them. Just never thought you’d grab a live one—”

    “It’s a drabuka! It’s harmless! Well, mostly. It’s not exactly a brain surgeon, Wolfie.” She scoffed, and moved over to the tree where Rook had been sitting — it took him a minute to realize she was picking up his bag for him, which supposed meant she’d heard a yes somewhere. He’d meant to say it anyway, so it didn’t matter; it was just kind of funny. Then she leapt back, startled. “Ack!”

    “Phan? What is it?”

    She sighed, shoulders dropping. “Rook, you could have warned me about your pet!”

    “P—” Rook kept the word muffled behind his lips as he came over and looked down at the creature nuzzled into his satchel. It hadn’t been there five minutes ago. He thought, anyway. As he looked down at it in confusion, it crawled out of the satchel, gave Phania a baleful look, then jumped up onto his arm with only a surprisingly soft scratch from its claws and sat on his shoulder. A ferret, with soft, smooth black-and-grey fur and a tail that wiggled back and forth as it looked expectantly at him. “Oh, huh.”

    “What’s that mean?”

    Vervloekte. He had a feeling ‘random friendly wild animal’ wasn’t going to fly. “Uh — I just thought I left him at home, that’s all.”

    “See, that’s why I like dogs,” Wolfie sighed. “Not so damn sneaky.”

    Rook nodded, not really paying attention as he held up a finger to the ferret and let it perch one of his paws on his hand. He was starting to suspect this wasn’t just a regular ferret. He packed up his saxophone and books, hefting his bags over his shoulders and following after Wolfie and Phania. But he lagged behind, just long enough to whisper, “I feel crazy, but you’re not a demon, right?”

    The ferret very deliberately, very conspicuously, shook its head.

    Rook tried not to fall over. He didn’t want to give anything away. “I don’t suppose you’ve been moonlighting as a frog.”

    The ferret licked his cheek — and this time he did giggle. He couldn’t help it. That was one mystery solved, he supposed… although, if it wasn’t a demon, he wondered, what on earth was it?

    A friend, he thought quietly, and that was enough. And, he brightened, jokes about bribery aside — Wolfie and Phania seemed nice, too. They hadn’t said anything about how he looked. Just that he was good at thaumaturgy — more than good.

    He just had to make sure he didn’t hurt them, too.

    Previous
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    Comments

    This is one of the chapters that I went back to and rewrote a little bit after initially writing it out; the next one is where most of the expansion happened, but I’m much happier with the rising tension here!

    Explosive decompression is a real thing (like most things I reference) – it’s why “blobfishes” look like that when they’re brought up from the depths. Deep-sea organisms maintain an internal pressure to match the depths they live at; when that changes rapidly, it has… interesting effects.

    The Tosaka tattooing tradition is inspired heavily by Samoan and other Pacific Islander traditions, although the Tosaka are in no way Samoan, Kanaka Ma’oli, etc. There’ll be more about them later, but this is the first time they’ve shown up in the narrative.

    Edited July 4th.

    Song: Shaped By Your Hands by Daniel Hart (Green Knight OST)

    Bell, Clock and Candle is free to read online and I don’t plan on changing that; however, if you like it and want to support its author, please consider supporting me with a Patreon pledge or a Ko-fi donation! For bonus goodies, Patreon readers get every chapter a week early, and pledging to the Elementals tier ($5+) gets you access to deleted scenes and conlang progress posts.

  • PREORDER: Revenant’s Hymn

    January 20th, 2022

    Hell is empty and all the devils are here. All the devils are here, wandering around trying to figure what comes next.

    Preorders for Revenant’s Hymn are live and ready through Kobo, Vivlio, Apple, BorrowBox and directly from me through Payhip! The book itself publishes on March 5th, just under two months from now. Look at me, being ahead of schedule and everything. Will wonders never cease.

    Revenant’s Hymn is a collection of short stories and poetry, all positioned around a central narrative about four demons stranded in the 1980s with no mission, no purpose and no master. The full blurb/marketing copy can be read on Goodreads – here, I’m going to go into a little more depth about Revenant’s Hymn and its table of contents. (And if you really can’t wait and you’re a book blogger and/or willing to leave a review – the ARC request form is here!)

    No Fun To Be Alone

    It was Mammon’s house in truth, only because Asmodeus hated it. They stayed in it because there was nowhere else to go. They snuck into Mammon’s bed in the night and he would rake his claws over their back and sink himself into them and lick the sweat from their collarbones. But the electric lights hurt their eyes. The ones forty years ago had been less bright; there had been more candles, more oil, less of this.  

    The central narrative of the book, told in eight parts; gory, sexual, and essentially a Stephen King book told from the monster’s perspective, in a way. “No Fun to Be Alone” has a non-binary protagonist, for those of you who will immediately perk up at that, although they’re not exactly the heroic type. (Sort of the diametric opposite.) If you like Kiera in Ghosts in Quicksilver or cry over the villains in shonen anime a lot, you’ll enjoy this.

    Shadowplay

    I can read your face but not your mind

    speak slow

    and I might grasp your words from the air

    A rather old poem of mine that I finally got working the way I wanted it to; I’ve always struggled with writing poetry about being deaf, but I have a few I really enjoy.

    Revenant

    Follow the moonlight’s trail to the very end of the road, and beyond, until you reach the last bridge across the river. Cross the bridge, then burn it.

    There are eight “Revenant” pieces in the collection, each of them exactly 100 words. I’m not sure whether to call them prose poems, drabbles, flash fiction or something else entirely, but twice now I’ve had people mention them as some of the more striking bits, so clearly they’re something. Like “No Fun To Be Alone”, they’re scattered throughout the collection, bit by bit creating… well, not a story, exactly. A triptych? Octych? (I don’t know why I ended up with eight.)

    Concrete

    call the county coroner, keep now quiet

    cremate their corpses like coals and kindling

    One of my structured (sort of?) poems in here, “Concrete” is what happens when I try to see how much c/k alliteration or consonance I can fit into a single poem with an identifiable topic/narrative. Turns out, a lot. I think I wrote this nearly six years ago now! I even remember where I was sitting when I wrote it.

    bury your LOVERS bury your FRIENDS

    Negotiating the humanity of the mental constructs that most people have and never acknowledge, never mind the ones that do emerge as acknowledged and aware, is a difficult and intensely personal ordeal. Saturday, specifically, takes a very personal glee in being something Other. She has the freedom to be, after all. Humanity is for suckers who are stuck with it.

    This short story is what happens when you listen to Billie Eilish’s bury a friend on repeat while dealing with kin (false) memories and PTSD flashbacks. In case you thought the title was a coincidence. It’s taken a long time to get fully comfortable with openly talking about plurality and dissociative identity, but plainly speaking, I wasn’t exactly going to get far pretending to be a ‘normie’ writer, so why not? Please know going in, however; I have content warnings in the book as well, but this story is very strongly about suicide, sexual assault, and extended sexual abuse.

    Warning Signs

    Thistle, vervain, bitterroot, and all the other warning signs
    Begonias in their vivid blooms, flash’d alarum in designs

    This one started as me just playing around with the flower meanings I was researching (for Bell, Clock and Candle) and it turned into something a little more haunting than that. Although it’s one of the many examples in the collection of me very clearly growing up on Old Books, whoops. (Does anybody use alarum anymore? I don’t think so.)

    Dead Boys Don’t Bite

    Dead boys don’t bite, at least, not much
    we’re cold and limp but fun to touch
    smell sweat and formaldehyde
    our wired jaws rigid as our spines

    Ah, it’s here I should underline that this is a firmly 18+ collection, and this piece is a huge part as to why. I don’t know why I wrote a sestina form poem about necrophilia from the point of view of the victims, but I sure did! I love it a lot, although I can’t quite get over the dorkiness of my first “real” adult content being… a sestina.

    Mirrors on the Ceiling

    …water turns to blood in the last light of the end of the world

    swallowing up the sun for all the creatures skulking in the silt.

    “Mirrors on the Ceiling” was originally published in my collection Post-Traumatic Anatomy, but this republished version is actually different! Mostly it’s been formatted differently, but it adds a remarkable amount in my opinion; I also like having it against poems and stories that are as weird as it is. Like some of the other pieces in here, it is deeply about sexual assault/abuse; also keep your eyes open for many, many references, because I can’t help myself.

    Mary Mary Ordinary (Where Did Your Monsters Go?)

    You don’t talk about the monsters under the bed. Under the earth. Under the stone and the bones and the crying crying soil.

    I suppose I can’t keep just describing my short stories as weird given that that’s All Of Them. This short story is one that I apparently wrote at some point, shoved into the depths of my hard drive and forgot about, but I know it was clearly inspired by queer censorship/pinkwashing and the witch hunts that occur with such startling regularity online. For this one, another warning for sexual assault (mentioned more than anything else), suicide and genocide, and eye trauma (somewhat graphic).

    Departure

    in the dark of the night before you leave 
    you touch me like you think that I might break

    Probably the shortest poem I have in here; I actually know where this one came from, and it’s an interesting story, albeit one I have to redact some details for. When I was in fandom more full-time, big bangs were all the rage, and mini-bangs (5k or so) were really starting to catch on. For one in particular, I asked if I could tell a story through poetry — and the mods said yes! Unfortunately, I left the fandom shortly afterwards, and dropped out of all the events I was in. I still have a lot of unfinished stuff kicking around, and while most of the poetry from that isn’t usable without a lot of editing, this one is still something I’m quite happy with.

    Bone Rune Testament

    I carve into my bones the words he promised the texts I wrote the way forward out of time that tick-tocks backwards into time and text and history we forgot –

    This one is definitely a prose poem, even if I’m still shaky on the exact definition of that. “Bone Rune Testament” was previously published by VampCatMag, and I’m still so thankful, because it’s what gave me the kick to recognize that, hey, maybe people Like surrealist nonsense. This also – in its own way – inspired me to work on Grotesque, which will hopefully be either getting subbed or prepared for publishing in the next year.

    Here In The Chambers Of Your Soul

    Or, perhaps, you have been slipping away from me from the beginning

    happy to have company but never sure what to do with it;

    never sure where it is I should sit or stand

    here in the chambers of your soul.

    This is one of the deeply personal ones that I won’t share too much about, but it’s worth saying that intimacy – physical and emotional – is a constant struggle for people with mental illness, especially with each other, and I was feeling that a lot when I wrote this one. There’s a lot out there about how we hurt each other, but in my opinion, not enough about how we just can’t get comfortable with each other sometimes — and how there’s usually nobody to blame.

    Black Blood

    in spirals winding inwards and
    the way the clocks are counting in
    rhythm that is best forgot
    rhythm that is best forgot

    …Not to out myself as a total nerd, but for all of the creepiness of this poem, I suspect I originally wrote it after watching the first season of Soul Eater.

    Half-joking aside, I performed this one at an open mic once and somebody wanted to turn it into a song! I eventually said no, because I want to do more slam poetry (and maybe record it) but I was tickled pink by the idea.

    Distorted Lantern

    …covering up the truth that’s writ

    beneath the callus of my feet

    that I could leave the lantern-room,

    if I dared,

    I tried,

    I could believe,

    that t’were enough to be half-sick of shadows.
    that there was something more to me.

    I’ve already mentioned my penchant for references and that I do spoken-word poetry, and this is a wonderful example of both! I’m really looking forward to the opportunity to perform this one one day, with all its weird rhythms; it’s also the… third? I believe, third reference to Tennyson’s Lady of Shalott in the chapbook. I have my favourites. I have no idea what to give people a heads-up for in regards to the triggers for this one, other than very intense paranoia, I suppose? But if that’s a trigger for you, then you should probably be reading a different… um… writer. (To be perfectly honest.)

    The Headless, Waiting

    blood beading like something precious
    until he startles, breathing heavy
    clutching at his neck in fear.

    I truly believe (hope, actually) that one day somebody will ask me ‘Is this a reference to The Bells by Edgar Allan Poe?’ so I can very enthusiastically say yes and maybe startle them a bit. Specifically, the last verse of The Bells. I grew up with a bunch of little illustrated books with samples of different poets in them; while I loved all of them, my favourite was the one of Poe. It had this picture next to the last verse of The Bells of a skeleton in rags ringing the iron bells, and it is one of the most persistent images I have. If you are, however, a normal person, and can’t see the connection, I simply hope you like the poem for all its macabre nature.

    Third Nature

    the home that feels like you could live in it
    the house that feels like you could build it
    the hands that feel like you could move them

    hovering somewhere in the

    soul of the thing you didn’t even think about

    On one hand, poetry should speak for itself. On the other hand, I feel like most autistic folks (those who are into poetry, anyway) who read this will know; so I say for the benefit of those who aren’t that this is explicitly about masking as allistic/neurotypical. It’s also pretty relevant to trying to mask as a singlet or sane in general, and to dysphoria. Funny thing about assembling this chapbook – turns out a lot of those are very similar to each other.

    The Hanged Man

    “Surely you have better things

    to do –” and then he grinned,

    “than stand below and watch me rot

    as the witching dark moves in.”

    There’s nothing more irritating than a pastiche when you can’t quite place who you’re pastiching. This poem is in a very particular style (to the point where it was rejected a few times for being too long and I’d totally blanked on the length) and I just… cannot place who it is! Definitely late Romantic or someone a touch later, but that’s all I’ve got. “What’s with the obsession with death?” That’s a long story, the short version of which is “I hung out with it a lot”.

    Blue Crocus

    There are no blue crocuses.

    There are no birds in the sea.

    There are no angels in the sky.

    There are no people like me.

    This one has been previously published by Umbel & Panicle! This one was based on a dream as well; I have a habit of turning my more unsettling dreams into poetry or stories, then getting a kick out of people’s reactions. My brain is an odd and dangerous place, apparently. (Before someone starts in with ‘actually’, yes, I know there is technically a blue crocus! It’s not a ‘true’ crocus. Yes, I looked that up before writing the poem. I wonder if that’s on purpose or something.)

    The Dripping Tap

    There is a small little receiver on the wall in front of me; a bronze affair, elaborate enough, but simple in that there are no numbers or keypad, nothing to press or dial. I have found myself staring at it, hoping I will hear it ring. Finding myself is the most apt term, it seems.

    The answer to a question literally nobody has ever asked, which is “what happens when a horror writer obsessed with Lady of Shalott and Yellow Wallpaper writes an entry for Literary Taxidermy based on the first and last line of a Dorothy Parker story he’s never read?”. I didn’t win the contest, which I’m not super surprised by – I’ve changed the first and last line since to be more suiting – but I wouldn’t have written this without the contest, which is why I’m giving them a shout out here. Heads up for this one; trigger warnings apply for domestic violence, implied suicide, claustrophobia and identity loss.

    Will You Love Me When I’m Gone?

    Will you love me when I’m gone?
    When I am just a shadow on your pillowcase,
    a scent lingering on the floor,
    leftover shampoo in the shower,
    forgotten shoes left at the door

    This might be the one in strongest need of a suicide trigger warning; not because it’s a more graphic depiction (it isn’t) but simply because this is a very, very personal poem about… well.. how inevitable it can feel sometimes. It’s not, but when it comes to mental illness, it is a lifelong struggle, and it’s not acknowledged that way enough.

    ALL OUR LOVE

    When she died (cause marked unknown)
    they flayed the flesh from her white bones
    and peeled the contours of her face
    with careful touch and subtle grace –

    I’ve actually published this one on this blog before; usually I wouldn’t link it, but the context for me originally posting it is very relevant to this collection! Trigger warning for death and oppression in general, although the specifics depend on how you read it. (It was written about transphobia and transmisogyny, but a lot of people can relate in different ways.)

    Red Roulette

    The two of them sit face to face and eye to eye in a room without windows or door, and the gun is heavy in Jenny Crimson’s hand. Guns are heavy most of the time; this one is lighter than most, 82 percent unloaded, but still made of metal and death and a thousand timelines converging into a single hollow point.

    I have no idea where the characters of Blue Lagoon and Jenny Crimson originally came from, or how they eventually ended up in a story about two alters playing Russian Roulette to determine the fate of their host, but this was the first story I ever consciously wrote about plurality. I submitted it a lot of places, and it got pretty far, but there’s something almost amusing about the number of very kind rejections I got that amounted to “it just doesn’t fit with anything else!” I’ll bet it doesn’t. It’s not exactly a common premise. This was originally published in The Shining Wire; the formatting in this version is simpler (and more accessible, although I do have ‘make an epub of TSW on the to-do list’).

    Friends With Death

    …in the end, we all
    become his subjects, citizens and serfs
                of the underground, full fathom five
                deep dead and buried – far below
                the skittering and the sighing of the
                favoured and alive —

    The concept of this poem was floating around in my head for a long time before I wrote it, but essentially, being queer is an odd balance of wanting to get away from the tragic depictions of death and misery, and… facing up to how much of it our history (and present) holds. My fascination with death comes just as much from that as it does my own experiences. Trigger warnings for this one include suicide, homophobia, and some oblique-but-clear references to things like the AIDS epidemic.

    Waste Disposal (Ticking Of A Damaged Heart)

    There’s a hole in the bottom of the ocean floor
    where your concrete shoes fit perfectly…

    Yes, yes, another Poe-inspired one (Tell-Tale Heart, this time) but I claim it as my right as a goth. I really, really wish I could remember when I’d written this one; just that I’ve had it around for ages trying to fix it. I actually – through a hysterically on-point issue of memory – have a different version of this in Shining Wire and had forgotten. Which… I’d be more annoyed, but it’s too ironic.

    Revenant’s Hymn

    I’m nobody! who are you?
    are you nobody too?
    will you dance with me 
    with a borrowed set of feet
    to music that there’s no reason to cry to
    with memories that neither of us own
    playing on an old film reel?

    Dickinson, this time (my gay shut-in energy, instead of my gay goth energy) but she speaks to me for a reason. This is also the poem that made me decide to put the collection together, after years of talking about a proper horror collection; it’s striking how the experiences of identity loss and dissociation are so relatable and so important to so many people, but are still a little discouraged from ‘polite’ conversation. (Only the more obvious with the dropping of the Moon Knight trailer and only a psychiatrist being a consulted instead of anybody with direct experience.)

    The Transient

    and there’s another art to knowing how lost you are
    knowing that you’re a walking fucking disaster area,
    knowing that everybody around you is tired,
    knowing that your legacy will be equal parts
    admiration and frustration,
    and knowing that you could be so much more if
    you just knew when to stop and
    when to start.

    ‘The Transient’ may very well be one of my favourite poems I’ve ever written. While I’m not going to publicly disclose who exactly it’s about, it’s a very transparent love letter to both the Beats and the shooting stars of the ’60s music scenes; the rockstars who lived hard and fast and died in particularly brutal ways. As a historian and poet, there’s a particular experience had when reading about some of them, especially when you disregard some of their common narratives; the sense that you’ve met them, in the friends you miss but had to walk away from before they dragged you down with them, or yourself in the mirror on your worst days, or the friend you’re worried about all the time but that you know you can keep together another day, another week, another month, another year. It’s all the more brutal when you acknowledge the unspoken truth that there aren’t ‘more’ queer people now. It’s just not as hidden.

    One day, I will record myself performing this one. I am very much looking forward to it.

    Preorder Revenant’s Hymn: Books2Read, Payhip

    Request an ARC

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  • Chapter 10: Ancient Tales

    January 15th, 2022
    CW: drowning, drug use, implied mental health issues, racism/classism, disordered eating

    It has been lost to memory, now, how it is our ancestors traversed the ocean; four hundred years has distorted what narratives we have so out of shape that if there is any truth to be found in them, it is hard to know where to start. Still, it is clear that the sea was once far less dangerous, and so a horrible possibility presents itself; whatever it was that destroyed the old world is not finished with us yet. Indeed, is it so dramatic, so foolish, to believe that the same vicious, cruel magic that besets us on every side here could be the same force that drove our forefathers in such fear from their original homes, so many years before?

    -Patrick Raymundsohn Bergen, 1752; “Alten Mæren”

    He was dreaming again. It was a shame, because the point of what he drank was to not have so many of these stupid dreams; but the upside was that it was a lucid dream. He could cope with that, maybe.

    He was floating in the ocean. Drowning, except he didn’t feel like he was drowning. When he inhaled, he could feel the water in his lungs, but it didn’t sting; it just felt like air, but thicker, denser, heavier in his lungs. And…

    Rook exhaled, and the water bubbled out of his lungs again.

    And it was beautiful.

    The sea was poison. Everyone knew that. Once upon a time, long ago, people had been able to swim in the ocean as easily as in the lakes and rivers. It wasn’t just a legend, either; it was recorded clearly in the earliest history books that had survived the crossing. Even the fact that people – humans – had ever made the crossing said that the sea had once been a very, very different kind of beast. But even in a dream, he couldn’t help but feel – oh, he didn’t know what he felt. The sand spread out in front of him, moving this way and that with the currents, and to one side, there were towers of something pink and vibrant, things growing on it and reaching for the sunlight, fish swimming in and out of the holes that seemed to have grown, not been carved, into the structure.

    Something moved over his shoulder, and he startled, moving aside; then he gaped at it. The creature serenely drifting past him was translucent, with almost its own internal light; it hardly even looked solid, with long strings hanging down from its oval, shapeless body and drifting just as aimlessly in the current as the sand and seagrass. It was moving, under some power; Rook had to assume it was alive, but that was the most he could identify.

    He was dreaming. He had to be. Things like this didn’t really exist.

    THEY USED TO.

    Ah. There it was. There were always voices in his dreams. Thousands of them; he’d given up identifying any of them, except that they all sounded different, and none of them were people he knew. They had to be people from his past, but the years hadn’t shed any more light on… anything.

    “What is it?”

    THIS IS THE OCEAN. PART OF IT.

    “Things don’t live in the ocean.”

    AND YOU KNOW EVERYTHING, OF COURSE.

    “Well, some things do. Monsters. Not… things like this. Fish can’t survive in the saltwater.” Rook paused. “I don’t usually know I’m dreaming.”

    A LOT IS CHANGING.

    “Care to shed any light on it?” Rook asked peevishly. He didn’t seem to be able to move; he was just stuck in place, floating somewhere in the ocean, watching it all drift past him. Not that he minded, but it did make things a little more dull.

    WELL, AS YOU GET OLDER, YOUR BODY GOES THROUGH CHANGES-

    “Oh, great! My hallucinations have gotten a sense of humour, and it’s awful!”

    The voice just started laughing, and Rook felt his face going red. Go fucking figure. “Besides, I haven’t changed much. I got taller, and my dick gets hard at inconvenient times. That’s about it.”

    DOES THAT BOTHER YOU?

    “The random erections or getting taller?” When the voice didn’t respond, Rook sighed. So much for deflection. “No, not really, at worst I wish my voice was deeper so people didn’t still think I was twelve. You could answer my actual question.”

    I COULD. BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW.

    …Now that was interesting. It was the most of a distinct personality Rook had ever gotten from one of his voices.

    Which –

    Which had him worried.

    “I’m dreaming, right?” he asked.

    WHAT ELSE WOULD THIS BE?

    “I don’t know. But I need you to tell me this is a dream. Not – something else. Don’t make me guess. Just tell me straight out that this is a dream.”

    The voice was very, very quiet, and Rook felt his heartbeat begin to speed up. He had to wake up. If it was a dream, he could wake up. All he had to do was wake up.

    –wake up-

    ——

    He startled awake, clutching for something — anything — only the taste of salt in the back of his throat. He was drowning – he was-

    The taste faded.

    Weight. There was weight on his chest. His heartbeat registered the pressure – steadied, slowed –

    Rook exhaled, eyes clearing. His familiar. Even as he watched, it rose its scaled head to his cheek, giving him an affectionate nuzzle.

    “Hey,” Rook whispered back. Okay. He had been dreaming after all. Already, the details of the dream were growing vague, hard to hold. The most solid thing left behind was the feeling of unrest, an itching in his bones that would last the whole day if he was unlucky. But his familiar helped. It always did; it didn’t matter what shape it had, it was always standing guard in one way or another, ready to give him affection or bring him back down to earth. He just wished it could speak to him — although it did a pretty good job with the tools it had.

    …Something smelled good.

    “Coffee?” he asked questioningly, lifting his head and peering around the bookshelf.

    “I’ll let you have some if you’re nice to me.”

    Rook thunked his head back down onto the loveseat. How long had he been asleep? He arched his back up, looking backwards at the window – yeah, that was sunlight. Morning light. He’d slept through the whole night on the couch, which wasn’t going to do his body any favours.

    “I still don’t know how your skeleton does that,” Csindra grumbled from the kitchen. “I made you beans.”

    He flopped back down, wincing a little — but he’d hurt even if he didn’t play contortionist, so it didn’t matter either way. “Beans?”

    “Baked beans. From a tin. A new tin, for what it’s worth. The ones you had here are scary-looking and too dented for my tastes.” She handed him a plate. “I was almost expecting you to have some ridiculous new-fangled device for your tins, but apparently a churchkey’s a churchkey even in the big city.”

    Rook sat up slowly, gently dislodging his familiar to the side of the couch and trying not to smirk at the rolled eyes he could hear in her voice. “You were… shopping. When did you go shopping?”

    “This morning.”

    He could see Csindra properly now, as his eyes focused and lost their early-morning haze. Her hair was still up in its ponytail, red hair trying to curl or at least wave in the short arc it made at the back of her neck, and she’d taken off her jacket, dark tank top loose at her shoulders and displaying not just her arms but a good portion of her torso as well. Through the sleeve-holes, Rook could see the black fabric wrapped around her chest and ribcage; not tight enough to conceal anything, just a wrapping. And scars, lots of them, but that didn’t surprise him at all. “With what money?”

    “Oh, I just grabbed your badge. Apparently that’s all I needed.”

    “Hey! You can’t just-” The beans did smell good. “…Next time, ask me,” he grumbled, letting himself have a bite or two. So far, so good, but he was never sure how anything was going to sit with him.

    “Next time,” she replied calmly, “tell me when you’re drugging yourself to sleep.”

    Ah. Fair. He… hadn’t expected to pass out. Or for her to figure out he’d taken something. He’d been going more for discreet substance use. “Any of my other possessions I need to demand back?”

    She was quiet at that, stirring the saucepan on the stove in a way that made him suspicious. Then after a little while, she sighed, not looking up at him but instead drumming her fingers on the countertop. “What happened in your room?”

    “What? What do you mean?”

    “What happened in your room?” she asked again.

    She’d been poking around. That was frustrating. Rook supposed it could be worse, but he didn’t really have anything that terrible in his room. At worst there might be some embarrassing magazines he’d stolen from Phania a few years back, but he was pretty sure he’d gotten rid of those. But Csindra’s face didn’t say embarrassing. She was staring down into the pot, jaw set.

    Then his heart dropped.

    She was a Bloodworker.

    Right.

    “Nothing important,” he said, a little more quietly.

    “Nothing important?”

    “No.”

    “Who’d you kill?”

    Fury leapt up his throat, along with the taste of bile- “Kill?”

    “You heard me.”

    “Oh, yeah, I brought someone home and tortured them, in my bedroom, instead of the perfectly serviceable spare room, or anywhere else. What do you fucking think?”

    She actually snorted a little at that, which – well, that was good. He thought. “Alright. So what happened?”

    He didn’t want to talk about this. Ever, really. Certainly not with a near-stranger. So he ignored her, settling back down onto the couch and stroking his familiar’s scales to try get his heartbeat to slow.

    “Rook.”

    “Djaneki, if you want answers that bad, let me have coffee first,” he snarled. He had no intention of telling her, but at least he could drag it out a bit. Come up with something good.

    “Csindra.”

    “Mm?”

    “You insist on people calling you your first name. You should call me by mine.”

    “…Fine.”

    “Plus, you call everyone but me by their first names. I’m starting to feel singled out.”

    He laughed a little at that, and the smile stayed on his lips as she came over, setting one mug of coffee on the table next to him and sitting cross-legged on the floor with her own. “There’s chairs…somewhere.”

    “You don’t have company much.”

    “You’ve met me, right?” It made for a better reply than explaining that he used to — he’d just, well, alienated anybody he’d usually invite over.

    “Unfortunately,” she drawled. “I don’t like you much, but I do like you enough to really, really want to believe that you didn’t murder someone in your bedroom. I’m not naive enough to think you don’t kill people. Just… not like that.”

    “For what it’s worth,” he sighed, “I avoid it where I can. I like having people to interrogate.”

    “Okay, see, that? That does not put me at ease.”

    “It wasn’t anybody, okay?”

    Csindra seemed to believe him; either that, or she was biding her time, as she sipped on her coffee and considered. “You’re not gonna tell me, huh?”

    He figured his silence was enough answer.

    “I can live with that for now,” she said after a while, and got to her feet. “Don’t we have something to do?”

    “What? Just like that?”

    “I said for now. Investments, or something?”

    “Investiga- Investigations, Csindra, you can’t mix up those two.” Then he groaned, leaning back into the couch. “Let me wake up first. NEI’s a pain even when I’m in a good mood.”

    “NEI?”

    “National Elessan Investigators. I’ll try at an explanation once I’m conscious. At least enough of one so you won’t insult someone.”

    She seemed to accept that in good enough humour, wandering off back into the kitchen to eat some of her beans, and Rook sighed, nursing the slight headache he’d developed. The drugs worked, sort of. It meant he’d actually gotten some rest, and he was in less pain than he’d been when he’d fallen asleep, but he hadn’t actually planned on the couch. He had a bed, he should be using it.

    Then again, from what Csindra had said, he would’ve probably had terrible dreams.

    He tried to let go of the fear – no, not fear, exactly. Fear, he could handle. Fear, he lived with all the time. He lived with fear so often that it barely registered anymore. Instead, this was a nervous kind of antsiness, a twitch that kept telling him to hide or run. She knows, one voice claimed. Knows what? A more reasonable one replied; a third only provided, too much.

    Stupid fucking paranoia. Worse was the fact that Csindra’s prodding questions just made him want to talk to Phania.

    He got to his feet, ignoring the way his knees were yelling at him. He could grab something gentle, angelica or something – oh, who was he kidding? Herbal remedies didn’t really do jack shit at this point, but at least chewing on the stupid licorice candies gave him something else to focus on. Not for the first time, it occurred to him to tell Csindra that he functioned much less well than he managed to pretend, but he knew how that would go. Better off not to bother.

    Instead, he focused on actually getting dressed and waking up enough to deal with Investigations. Which meant Olivadocht. Which meant a headache.

    He wanted to go back to bed.

    —

    “No car this time?” Csindra asked him as they left the building, with a note of hopefulness she probably thought he couldn’t hear. He wasn’t quite as excited as her.

    “Nah. I can’t drive, and —” He glanced at her. “What’s that face?”

    “I thought everybody in the military learned that kind of thing.”

    “Well, I’m not everybody,” he grumbled, brushing it off. The fact that the idea of driving one of those things freaked him out just as much as, apparently, it did her, was besides the point. The trams were fine by him. Besides – driving would’ve meant he missed the gloriously panicked look on her face when the tram turned the corner and honked.

    “What on earth is that?”

    “No trams where you grew up, either?” he teased as the doors snapped open. He couldn’t fault her for that one. There were trams in Den Elessa, and a couple other cities, but the loose soil and sand down south meant nobody had gotten around to it yet. Too expensive, too much hassle, and not enough actual customers.

    She managed to swallow it down enough to get on the tram, and the driver shot the axe on her back a startled look. Rook flashed him his ID. “She’s with me.”

    “That’s something,” the driver grumbled, not sounding particularly convinced.

    “You could have told me I was carrying my weapon onto public transportation,” Csindra sighed, picking a window seat. Rook just laughed it off.

    “He’s seen weirder.”

    “Has he?” Then Csindra glanced at the snake around his neck. “Point taken.” Her gaze drifted out the window, and Rook found his hands twisting slightly in his lap. He’d… put something together, for her. Not entirely meaning to, but he had. He knew which herbs to use and everything – and they were ones he kept with him. It was a bad idea, because Djan- Csindra was actively helping him at this point. But the paranoia kept whispering in his ear. She knows. She knows. She knows. It couldn’t hurt to have a backup-

    “What’s it like?” he asked, finally. “Where you’re from.”

    She raised her head a little, raising an eyebrow at him. “I thought we weren’t friends.”

    “So blame my terrible curiosity. And you were asking me all sorts of things. You’re obviously not from Den Arden, if your lack of particular attachment tells me anything—”

    “I could just hate the mayor,” she countered, but the small grin on her face said otherwise.

    “—and you’re startled by a lot of the machinery here. Middle of nowhere, right?”

    “Etamara counts.”

    He managed to hide his surprise. “Etamara? Really? I—” He stopped himself in a rare moment of self-awareness. He’d been about to say something rather disparaging about Etamara and managed to hold his tongue — because for the first time, really, it had occurred to him that the joke about Etamara being a rat warren wasn’t so funny when you were talking to someone from there. “Uh, haven’t been there.”

    Csindra snorted. “Nice save, white boy.”

    “I haven’t. I actually don’t know much about it.”

    “You’re being nice. I don’t trust it.”

    “I’ve impressed you that little already?”

    “You arrested me and blackmailed me into being your partner in apparently, crime.”

    He leaned back against the tram seat at that with a little pout. “Well, fine, don’t tell me anything about your mysterious home, then.”

    She was quiet for a little while, and Rook was starting to think that he’d actually offended her. He didn’t usually care, but he did want to know. He was both better at reading people than others thought he would be, and absolutely hopeless at it when he was supposed to be  — and then Csindra kept throwing him for loops. She fiddled with a loose strand of her hair, most of it still tied back in her ponytail, before speaking. “The houses are smaller. One-storey, mostly – it, uh, helps keep the heat under control. No trams or anything like that. No sidewalks, really. Some of the streets are paved, but it’s flagstones and all. None of this stuff. No anbaric power.”

    “None?”

    “Yeah, I think the first anbaric light I saw was in Den Arden, actually.” Csindra gave him a slightly-embarrassed look. “Before that mission, to be clear. Or maybe Avolara. Not sure.”

    “That sounds…”

    “Awful?” she said quietly.

    “Different, anyway.”

    She shrugged, but seemed a little pleased that he hadn’t actually gone with something negative. It did sound pretty bad, to him. “It’s quieter at least. None of this ridiculous all-night noise stuff, or motors going by in the middle of the night. Bears, sometimes-”

    “Bears?”

    “Yes, they’re big and brown and—”

    “I know what bears are!”

    She bit her lip, amused at some joke that was clearly going over his head. “And you’ve never lived outside of Den Elessa.”

    “I was in the Zweispars for a month. That counts for something. Oh, and the hospital I was in was in Meergaarten.”

    “Truly, a well-travelled man.”

    He grimaced. “I’m not so much a man as a bundle of twigs trying to grow into the concept.”

    Again, she was biting her lip like he was missing a joke, but he’d gotten used to that from other people. It just wasn’t helping his paranoia settle down. “What’s this – Investigations thing, anyway?” she asked, changing the subject.

    “If you mean the case, I got no clue.” He dug into the pocket of his coat, pulling out his bag of candies. “Ginger?”

    “Uh, no thanks.” She eyed the paper bag with some entertainment, then lowered the top with one finger. “Is that really just candied ginger?”

    “Yeah, sure. Why?”

    “Doesn’t that sting?”

    “A little. Tastes good, though.” And it made his joints ache a little less. The taste was a bonus. “It’s probably a murder case or something that they want NatSec involved with for some reason or another.”

    “NatSec – National Security. Right. What’s the difference?”

    “Between, what, NatSec and Investigations?” At Csindra’s nod, he chewed on the ginger, thinking it over. He didn’t usually have to explain the branches to other people — one of the pluses of most of his social circle being military or adjacent already. “Different branches. You got Infantry and Gunners, Cavalry, the actual soldier soldiers. And then you got NatSec, Investigations, MEDCOM, and we’re all run by different people.”

    “Right. So you work for NatSec, but sometimes you work with Investigations.”

    “Pretty much. Investigations deals with cop shit, internal affairs, stuff like that. NEI is just one of the regiments, so if it’s about civvies — civilians — then NEI deals with it.”

    “As opposed to?”

    “AFCIS is uh… Army Forces something something, so army and infantry crimes. Cavalry and the Airmen have MCIS — er, MPCIS. I can never keep track, half their letterheads still say MCIS. Gunners have their own as well, and then there’s the one for corruption and another I’m definitely forgetting. And that’s just the central division.”

    “…Forget I asked,” Csindra grumbled. “That’s too many letters.”

    “You’re telling me. You’re not actually expected to know them.”

    “And NatSec is…?”

    “Feral magic, Advolks, organized crime. Anything that threatens the whole country, basically.”

    Csindra raised her eyebrows at that one — presumably, he thought with a small wince, the inclusion of the Advolks. He’d seen her react a few times to their name, now, and he — probably very stupidly — was stuck between pretending he didn’t notice and logging every instance with increasing paranoia. No, that was dumb. Paranoia was, again, when it was unreasonable. Keeping an eye out was just smart. “And the Advolk and feral magic get lumped together?”

    “I mean, only broadly. Same regiment, but that’s all.”

    “And the name of that regiment is—?”

    “The 214th,” Rook grumbled quietly, which was technically correct, and technical was the best kind of correct when he was feeling awkward and put on the spot.

    Csindra just laughed, leaning back against the bus seat. “Yeah, I know what the 214th are called, Rook. Demon Extermination. Can’t tell you shit about who’s on the top, or the chain of command, but I know what your job title actually is. You’re not the first Dievelhunter I’ve met.”

    “Nobody calls us that anymore.”

    “To your face,” she said, a little too cheerfully.

    “Why would they?” he groaned. “Feral magic isn’t anybody’s friends. Except the damn Advolks, but they’re crazy, who knows what they think they’re getting out of it.”

    “Ah, yes. The party line about how the Advolks — what is it, they worship feral magic? They’re working for it?”

    He chomped down a little harder than he had to on his ginger, trying not to look offended. “Leave it to you to make it sound ridiculous. And no, that’s not it. It’s — Hey,” he caught himself slightly feebly. “I don’t have to explain this to you!”

    “I work for you. Is this the time to get funny about information? Especially when everybody already knows it,” she added. She was smirking, which was just the cherry on top of this whole blasted encounter, wasn’t it? The confidence kept throwing him. They kept wandering back into her territory and out of his, and then the tables got turned on him again.

    “For their own reasons,” he said with a grumble, “they want feral magic to succeed in whatever it’s trying to do, yes.”

    “And your guesses on that are?”

    “You’re asking the wrong person. That’s the kind of thing Scheffen and the other high-ranking think tank fuckers have to worry about. My job is to worry about wraiths and demons and shit when they crops up, with the odd excursion out of my way to deal with whatever else comes up.”

    “Like Den Arden.”

    “Yes, like Den Arden, I thought that was obvious. Usually that’s Arnoldsohn’s department, catching rebellions before they start, but Arnoldsohn brushed it off, because he’s a dumbass. I—” He caught Csindra’s smirk — which was only widening — and returned to a quietly embarrassed sulk. What was she so amused about, anyway? Demons weren’t anything to scoff at, and they were only second fiddle to when feral magic itself made an appearance. The break to deal with a human threat had been a nice change, really.

    “…I will never understand how Elessans get about feral magic,” she said after a while.

    He blinked at her, then shrugged. “We didn’t start this. We still don’t. It shows up, causes problems, we do our best to kill it, I don’t see how that makes us the bad guys.”

    “Hm,” was all she said to that, still half-smirking, and Rook managed to hide his cringing reaction when he realized she’d never actually said anything to that effect. A little twitchy, are we?’ he thought morosely… before shoving the thought back down deep where he could pretend he had no investment in it. “And anybody who tries to use it is?

    He shrugged. “Half the time they’re dead before we get there, so it stops mattering. We’re just cleaning up their mess. Or them, as it ends up.”

    “That’s… morbid.”

    “Wait til you see it.”

    The tram was coming up to their stop, and he got to his feet, glancing behind to check she was following. Much to his comfort, she was, but the Advolk thing kept bothering him. He’d expected her to have different run-ins — with the organized crime units, or Investigations, not with the 214th.

    Besides…

    Besides, he wasn’t stupid. He had spells on the doors. She’d gone out last night. So why on earth had she come back?

    Previous
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    COMMENTS

    The worldbuilding for Elessa is fun basically in every aspect, but one of the biggest challenges has been really grappling with what the deep fear and distrust of the ocean means for a country. The inspiration for a ‘poison ocean’ comes from many places, but probably the most concretely from both Dishonored and The Monster of Elendhaven; mind you, especially in the case of the latter, it’s “this cool detail was completely wasted”. The results are fascinating; for example, while doing Smokework, I’ve avoided seawater plants, and only freshwater fish are eaten, so no octopus, no squid, etc. And it results in things like this, where Rook doesn’t even know what jellyfish are.

    It’s weird to think about sometimes, but this really is the level of technology difference that – well, one, was happening in most places that we think of when we think of anywhere between the start of the Victorian Era and “the Roaring 20s”. (Which, lbr, is almost always North America or Britain, Western Europe if you’re feeling spicy. It was a very different era for everyone else.) And two, still happens! Class differences can often be marked the most clearly by how quickly new technology spreads to an area or becomes accessible. It’s also odd to read (and to write) this divide happening around things that are so normal now, like elevators and cars, but that’s also why I like writing in this era.

    Edited July 4th!

    SONG: Ariadne by Dead Can Dance

    Bell, Clock and Candle is free to read online and I don’t plan on changing that; however, if you like it and want to support its author, please consider supporting me with a Patreon pledge or a Ko-fi donation! For bonus goodies, Patreon readers get every chapter a week early, and pledging to the Elementals tier ($5+) gets you access to deleted scenes and conlang progress posts.

  • The Gremlin’s Library: Certain Dark Things by Silvia Moreno-Garcia

    January 4th, 2022

    TWs for Certain Dark Things, and to a lesser degree this review, include violence, cartels/drug wars, and a particular character who threatens a lot of sexual violence but never thankfully gets around to it.

    I’ve been falling more and more in love with Silvia Moreno-Garcia’s writing for a few years now, starting with Gods of Jade and Shadow in 2019, Mexican Gothic in 2020, and reading both Signal to Noise and Untamed Shore after that. Her books are consistent in the perfect way; they’re all massively different from each other in terms of setting and aesthetic, but all hold similar cores, similar character and romance elements, things that draw me back to the concept of a ‘Moreno-Garcia book’ over and over again. Certain Dark Things is no exception, with the added draw that it’s been out of print for years! Originally published in 2016, CDT became popular enough as a cult novel of sorts that it’s now been republished by Tor Nightfire – which is how I’ve finally gotten my hands on it.

    So, to start; Certain Dark Things, like most of Moreno-Garcia’s books, is a period piece. Unlike the others, however, it doesn’t have a specific time period that it’s set in (MG is the 50s, GoJaS is the 20s, StN is the 80s, US is the 70s). Instead, CDT is a neo-noir/cyberpunk novel that creates a bizarre, alternate-history version of Mexico City that on some points, feels like it’s from the eighties or nineties (there are no computers, and cellphones appear but aren’t overly fancy), but on other points has near-future technology (ex. Cualli the genetically modified Doberman). The main point of divergence for the setting is that vampires aren’t just real – they’re everywhere. There are several subspecies of vampires, with their own politics, families and interspecies conflicts; none of them are allowed within the walls of Mexico City, which is proudly and determinedly vampire-free. Enter Domingo, 17-year-old garbage collector and homeless kid, who stumbles upon the very hungry, very alone, very desperate Atl and her dog Cualli on the subway. Atl is a Tlāhuihpochtli, an Aztec vampire, who can only drink the blood of the young and who is running from the Necros, a clan who have already killed off most of her family.

    It’s hard to pin down what exactly makes CDT work for me where so many vampire books don’t. It’s not even that I’m not into vampires – they’re just so samey after a while! But I think that’s part of what makes CDT so gripping. It’s a vampire book, sure; but it’s also a crime novel, a thriller about cartels and narcos and drug kingpins, who just happen to also be vampires; and it’s also a love story with a bittersweet but ultimately happy-enough ending. (Those who have followed my frustration with romance discourse will know exactly why this hits so well for me.) Domingo in particular is a wonderful break from the usual human everyman character, in that he’s even more of the everyman; his naivete and youth is never downplayed or turned into some sort of Special Signifier of Humanity. He’s just genuinely a very sweet, very innocent person; which comes with just as much awkwardness and choking overfamiliarity as it does the feeling of being seen. I found myself identifying a lot with Atl in this book, particularly with her struggle to not get attached to Domingo because she knows that he will get hurt; not because she’s putting herself down, but because he doesn’t have the life experience to know what he’s signing up for.

    More than anything, I just wish this book was longer. The narrative pacing is excellent and doesn’t need any padding; but I’m dying to learn about more of the different vampire species, or the politics in other parts of Mexico, or if Atl is in fact the last of the Tlāhuihpochtin. Still, I don’t know if Silvia Moreno-Garcia has any plans to make any sequels, so we’ll see what the future holds. A fantastic read, and I can’t wait to read more from her. (Next is Velvet Was The Night!)

    Certain Dark Things is available through Chapters and MacMillan.

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