The Gremlin’s Library: “I Have Placed My Sickness Upon You” by Karin Tidbeck

1–2 minutes

To read

“Then came that Thursday in February when I stepped into my psychiatrist’s office and was presented with a goat.”

-“I Have Placed My Sickness Upon You”, Karin Tidbeck, Strange Horizons 2013

This is a lovely, bittersweet little story about mental health treatments, hell, bipolar disorder and scapegoating. The narrator is given a Sadgoat to help with their depression – a goat who will absorb their depression while she keeps it as a pet – and at the end of the treatment, she releases the goat. However, what happens to the Sadgoat afterwards?

I think part of why I loved this so much was how it started with the bizarre and led into a completely sincere ending. It’s hard to take goats as a depression treatment seriously, and I was stifling a smile for the first part of the story. But Tidbeck’s writing is deft and clever as it tips the scales into full seriousness. It’s also a story that is completely realistic about the difficulties of depression/bipolar treatment; the narrator actually lists off all the treatments she’s tried before the Sadgoat. It feels good to read about somebody who actually reflects my experiences, instead of a watered down version of them.

One downside: this story apparently predates SH’s trigger warning system, so here’s a few big ones. TW for: depression/bipolar, animal death, animal abuse and uncooperative/semi-antagonistic doctors

Ama Ndlovu explores the connections of culture, ecology, and imagination.

Her work combines ancestral knowledge with visions of the planetary future, examining how Black perspectives can transform how we see our world and what lies ahead.