The rerun post for today was originally labeled a Gremlin’s Library post, but since you can read it for yourself online, I’ve recategorized at least the rerun version as Little Free Archive – only fitting, since I also reread the story myself, and got even more from it the second time round. Full text of the post is below:

“Then came that Thursday in February when I stepped into my psychiatrist’s office and was presented with a goat.”

-“I Have Placed My Sickness Upon You”, Karin Tidbeck, Strange Horizons 2013

This is a lovely, bittersweet little story about mental health treatments, hell, bipolar disorder and scapegoating. The narrator is given a Sadgoat to help with their depression – a goat who will absorb their depression while she keeps it as a pet – and at the end of the treatment, she releases the goat. However, what happens to the Sadgoat afterwards?

I think part of why I loved this so much was how it started with the bizarre and led into a completely sincere ending. It’s hard to take goats as a depression treatment seriously, and I was stifling a smile for the first part of the story. But Tidbeck’s writing is deft and clever as it tips the scales into full seriousness. It’s also a story that is completely realistic about the difficulties of depression/bipolar treatment; the narrator actually lists off all the treatments she’s tried before the Sadgoat. It feels good to read about somebody who actually reflects my experiences, instead of a watered down version of them.

One downside: this story apparently predates SH’s trigger warning system, so here’s a few big ones. TW for: depression/bipolar, animal death, animal abuse and uncooperative/semi-antagonistic doctors

Link: https://elliottdunstan.com/2019/12/07/the-gremlins-library-i-have-placed-my-sickness-upon-you-by-karin-tidbeck/

I remember loving this story when I first read it; now, it cuts even more deeply. My connection to and love for animals is much stronger than it was at the time (I will, at some point, write an actual blog post about my little rat adventure) and my relationship with my mental illness has — I wouldn’t say changed, exactly, but five more years of living with it has changed my perspective, at least. Certainly a story that hit as almost cute before is now deeply tragic to me.

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