spikes (my eyes see all that I can dream)

cw: mental illness

take your meds, stay out of danger now–
wake up, sleep, don’t stay up late tonight,
avoid caffeine, keep your stress levels down,
cortisol spikes are railway spikes (for you)
nailed deep into your brain
nailed deep into your body
stigmata for the crown of thorns
that you had sought to burn–
well, this is how it feels to burn
to fade away.
(nothing’s fading really, it’s all just out of reach
underneath a silky cloak of ashes on my skin–)
take your meds, stay out of danger now–
wake up, sleep, and go to bed on time,
don’t watch the sun rise, rise with it instead
even this won’t silence the voices in your head,
but it’ll quiet them some
leave room for you to breathe.
(did I eat enough today? why can’t I
remember? sometimes i am just a machine–)
you are never a machine.
you need water to live, you need air to live,
your muscles need to stretch
your eyes need to see.
(my eyes see all that I can dream).
cortisol spikes are railway spikes
rusted spikes and heartbeat spikes
spikes that keep away the monsters
and the maidens all the same–
cortisol spikes on sleepless nights
when all is dark and quiet and lonely
and you know what the cure is, yet,
you gaze into the opal screen.
take your meds, stay out of trouble now,
the years tick on and habit is routine
eat, drink, sleep, awaken, know your ritual
to stop yourself from tearing at the seams.

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