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Elliott Dunstan

  • Home
  • Contact
  • About Me
    • Publications
    • Books
  • Bell, Clock and Candle (Elessa)
    • The Nowhere Bird (Bell, Clock and Candle #1)
  • ALKIMIA FABLES
  • Behind the Curtain: Why The Hard vs. Soft Magic Debate is Pointless and a Little Bit Offensive

    January 21st, 2025

    Most people associate fantasy with magic; some consider it the definition of the genre, although trying to pin down fantasy exactly gets complicated. Alternate worlds without magic but with different races often straddle the line between fantasy and its twin sister science fiction; and magic sometimes pervades literary fiction in its own ways. In recent years, however, a growing – and strangely loud – subset of people have been voicing their distaste, if not hatred, for the concept of the magic system. To me, this seems a bit of a contradiction in terms, but it’s important to define our terms in how they’re being used. The Magic System, in these arguments, refers to hard magic – magic with hard rules, equations, definitions. The contrasting form is ‘soft magic’, albeit magic that works in a much more free-form, folkloric kind of fashion. Hard magic involves wands and spells, ancient words and meanings, battles of words and potions and runes – soft magic involves wishes and prayers, intent and sense. The line isn’t always completely clear between the two, but generally, you know the difference when you see it. Nor is it (supposed to be) a binary with any implications of quality or maturity; Lord of the Rings is a classic example of soft magic, as is Star Wars, while Harry Potter, The Stormlight Archive and The Belgariad all depict varying levels and complexity of hard magic. The complaints about hard magic vary – but I’ve seen them range from ‘I shouldn’t have to have a PhD to understand fantasy’ (this seems like an exaggeration, but nevertheless) to ‘hard magic is a colonizer invention’ (still puzzled about this one!) to the really kind of unforgivable ‘hard magic is a plague upon fantasy, shouldn’t exist, and the world is worse off for it existing’. All the worse as a take, by the way, given that it still used the term ‘magic systems’ instead of ‘hard magic’. There’s usually a lot of fingers pointed at Brandon Sanderson – which, look, maybe I’m the odd one out here, but not only have I read exactly one Sanderson novel, I’ve also managed to avoid any osmosis on his books. For an author that’s supposedly shoved down people’s throats. I don’t think I could name a single plot point, character, or even an element of the magic systems that are so terrible other than the fact that they’re detailed and what I remember from reading Mistborn ten years ago. (That’s slightly a lie. I also know Brandon Sanderson doesn’t put sex in his books because he’s Mormon. So I know one thing. Two if you count the Mormonism.)

    In fact, one of the main arguments behind this take – that hard magic is forced down writers’ or readers’ throats, or even heavily encouraged – doesn’t seem to hold much weight when looked at with too much detail. As with everything, there’s a disclaimer here that I am a single person who occupies a single corner of the universe. Not only that, but I don’t doubt that hard-magic purists exist. I’ve met tabletop NerdBros:tm:. I’d actually be deeply shocked if they didn’t. In fact, the concept of the hard magic elitist is reminiscent of the “min-maxxer” in tabletop and card games – the player who’s more focused on getting their stats as ‘good’ as possible rather than roleplaying and building a story, or likes building turn-one win-condition gimmick decks in Magic worth several hundred dollars, promptly turning it into a single-player game. (And then wonders why nobody wants to play.) But are they actually that widespread? Or successful? The best-selling fantasy books of the last decade include The Stormlight Archive (Sanderson) and The Fifth Season (Jemisin), which are two extremely different flavours of hard magic, but hard magic nonetheless; but it also includes the works of Sarah J. Maas and Rick Riordan. On top of that, the systems that are around don’t seem to fulfill the stereotype depicted of almost-mathematically-devised gaming-stat systems. Babel by R.F. Kuang isn’t mathematical in the slightest, being oriented around language, and it as well as many others – Children of Blood and Bone (Adeyemi), Fifth Season, and Shadow and Bone (Bardugo)– are using their magic systems as much as metaphor as anything else. Add to that the popularity of A Song of Ice and Fire, which is not just a soft-magic franchise but one that uses very little magic to begin with, and the complaint starts feeling directed to the point of being a thinly-veiled personal grudge.

    A corollary point to this is that the conversations are all occurring in literary circles; but the nature of media and creative work especially in the modern age is that conversations about one medium usually end up in another. To be a ‘fantasy fan’ inevitably puts you in community – like it or not – with lovers of fantasy film (a neglected arena beyond its few big standouts, unfortunately), fantasy television (a field that has blossomed tremendously in the last decade), fantasy tabletop gamers (Warhammer and Wizards of the Coast comprising a shocking amount of reference points), fantasy videogame enthusiasts (Final Fantasy, League of Legends, World of Warcraft and Dark Souls as distinct and identifiable axes, if not the only ones) and fantasy comics – both webcomics and traditionally published ones (Gunnerkrigg Court and Girl Genius don’t directly compete with things like Sandman, but they live in very different worlds). I doubt I’m the only person to look at this particular conversation and wonder if the complaints are about the lore of games rather than that of books; or at least about the writing attempts of gamers who refuse to read books, but since those books are unlikely to get finished, let alone published, there’s not much point in discoursing about the shadow they aren’t casting on the wall. Someone sharing a work-in-progress novel with a magic system designed for a tabletop isn’t affecting the world of publishing, no matter how much they’re personally pissing you off.

    The other interesting thing about some of the very, very strong objections raised to ‘hard magic systems’ is their determination to carve out a granite wall between science fiction and fantasy – and by extension, science and magic. Magic is, by their definition, unknowable; trying to make magic comprehensible is not just verboten but tantamount to blasphemy, an attempted transformation into (the dreaded) Science Fiction. Not all of them even have particularly negative views on science fiction, but a thread of disdain shows up regardless in the sense that science is, no matter what you do to it, inherently boring. If it’s not boring, it’s masculine-coded; it’s colonialist, or stuffy, or tainted by condescension and gatekeeping. I can’t fault people for these associations entirely. I’m thoroughly a humanities scholar, and I’ve been treated with disrespect by STEM students more times than I can count. But to dismiss science – what a remarkably dim view of the world. To consider magic and science as enemies is, first of all, completely ahistorical. Magic is, after all, not something originating from fiction but a tool from the past used to explain everything from divine miracles to forbidden knowledge. While not all witchcraft involved science (many accusations were in service to political machinations and land grabs) many ‘witches’ were herbalists, midwives, apothecaries, and even astronomers. Perhaps that doesn’t suit the modern definition of science enough for some tastes, but the basic principles were and are there; observation, the formulation of a hypothesis, testing, and results. I’ve mentioned the critiques of hard magic as colonialist a few times, too, and it’s worth mentioning here that I’m not opposed to decolonial critiques; quite the opposite. Instead, I think framing Indigenous “magic” as purer, less rigorous, and based on faith alone as opposed to formalized colonizer “science” is actively harmful. It’s true that magic works in different ways in certain narratives. But take, for example, the famous example of the Easter Island heads; upon questioning about how they got there, the Rapa Nui explained that ‘they walked’. It was a perfectly good answer, and perfectly scientific; just wrapped in language that the listeners weren’t willing to understand. But to claim that it’s somehow opposed to science – despite being, again, perfectly accurate! – feels like an insult to indigenous histories. On top of that, how positively medieval (or Southern Baptist, if you will!) to act like understanding something takes away from the wonder of it! Understanding how photosynthesis works – how a plant converts light into food through chemicals that absorb the wavelengths of red and blue, and that’s why plants are green – doesn’t make it any less amazing, or cool, or beyond our real comprehension; because it’s not like we can do it. (Also, we know significantly less about plants and plant processes than you probably assume.) We might know that the sun is just a very distant ball of thundering chemical reactions, and that it doesn’t have anything to do with gods, or chariots in the sky; but stand outside and feel the strength of its fire on your skin and the difference between a god and a sun feels like semantics, not scholarship. Doctor Who, in my opinion, has always trod the line excellently between fantasy and science fiction very much on the basis of this – I’ll give a particular shoutout to the Series 7 episode “The Rings of Akhaten” for weaving the two together with rather stunning grace, although others like “The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit” (Series 2) and “The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang” (Series 5) also play quite cleverly in the space between.

    I’m standing here defending the right of hard magic systems to exist and why people should like them or at least tolerate them, of course, and there’s a pretty obvious, glaring pitfall in all of this: why? As in, why is it anybody’s business what the person next to them enjoys? It’s already a patently ludicrous claim that magic systems are “making fantasy worse” – and, apparently, one that’s been made for at least a decade – and it’s exactly the same as every other over-the-top complaint about how the latest trope is absolute cancer and ruining everything. I don’t like romance tropes. I don’t like insta-love, or jealousy, or forced monogamy; I certainly can’t stand endings that treat death of one as the end, forever, for the other. I’m aromantic and frequently romance-repulsed. I am not the audience. And I know I’m not! While I’ll make my complaints here and there, largely speaking, I know that my criticisms of romance and Romance are personal. But this is part of a larger trend; the need to make personal dislikes justifiable in some way, perhaps in order to have a socially-conscious take in the first place. God forbid you don’t have something new to contribute to the Discourse – so you might as well engineer something. In this case, as in many others, it just makes people who like magic systems feel put on the spot and targeted; and of course the retorts start getting into the same territory in response, attacking ‘soft magic’ on equally silly grounds, and we have a whole fight that doesn’t need to happen.

    The idea of a ‘hard magic system’ versus ‘soft magic as vibes only’ isn’t real, anyway. A narrative with magic is always, no matter how ‘loose’ or ‘vibes-based’ the magic is, making trade-offs about how it works. That isn’t me trying to make some argument that ‘all magic is science’ or that ‘all magic is REALLY hard magic’; it’s that all magic has some structure by dint of being part of a narrative. The difference between hard and soft magic is just how much you’re showing to the reader – but our quintessential example of soft magic, the works of Tolkien, are also a perfect example of how much unspoken work usually goes into that effect. Gandalf’s nature as one of the Maia is rarely directly relevant to Frodo’s perspective, and movie-only watchers don’t really need to know that about him, just that he’s someone very skilled with magic; nor do movie-only or casual fans have any real need to know the lore involved in the Silmarillion. Yet all of that worldbuilding and lore, the work that Tolkien put into the magic, the races of Middle-Earth, and the rings of Sauron, is what makes the world feel so lived in. The same is true of even single novels, on a more abstracted level; a novel like 100 Years of Solitude (Marquez) is making very deliberate choices about how much magic, how much unreality, is pervading into the ‘real world’. That in and of itself is careful, painstaking work. The wizard isn’t zapping everybody where they need to go – why? What is stopping the magic of this world from breaking the narrative? In The Witcher and Fullmetal Alchemist it’s rules around energy and balance – in others, it’s explained through politics, personality or even just narrative convenience.

    All of which brings me to my final point, which is that while I don’t think any element of a fantasy novel needs to justify its existence – that’s how we get Serious Business Fantasy Writers declaring themselves to be beyond the petty world of ‘escapist’ writers, and so on and so forth – magic systems are more than just twiddly little Rube Goldberg machines. You may personally dislike more complex ones, and that’s fine; but magic systems are usually deeply thematically entwined with the narrative they’re there to tell. It’s very easy to say that fantasy would be “better off without” them, but Fullmetal Alchemist’s story is fundamentally about its own magic system – equivalent exchange, or the conservation of mass, repurposed into a fable about what you feel you deserve, what you put into the world, and the entire principle of a fair universe. Mercedes Lackey’s Valdemar series is preoccupied from the very start with companionship in difference and using gifts for the good of the people – not a rare theme by any chance, but one that’s strengthened by both the nature of Companions and the idea of a Herald’s calling. And how can I leave out R.F. Kuang’s Babel and Seanan McGuire’s Middlegame – two books so thoroughly about being used and abused by higher powers, the corruption of language (and in Middlegame’s case, mathematics as well) in the service of greed, and the pawns turning their powers against those who created them? I’d also like to point out just how many of the examples I’ve chosen, not just in this particular paragraph but throughout, have been by women (and not just white women either) – which is a pretty firm rebuttal to the idea of the magic system as the cishet white man’s playground, or even particularly ‘masculine-coded’. (Although that entire concept is just a little gross. Is the flip-side that unicorns are a Girls-Only club? Because I thought we were moving past that kind of thing.)

    Ultimately people can feel any way they want to about tropes in fantasy, or the mechanics of fantasy, or even the line between fantasy and science fiction. The subgenres of speculative fiction are a messy, ill-defined affair – note I haven’t touched on my own genre of horror here, for good reason. I’d add another five pages on horror’s complex relationship with magic and explaining the unexplainable, and two of them would be on Fall of the House of Usher – But. Regardless. Having the opinions is fine. When it boils over into broad, pointless or flatly offensive statements that you then put out into the world, you have to expect one of two things. One, people are going to be offended, because you said something that targets them and the things they like in a rather tasteless way. And two, you’re going to have people arguing with you. Magic systems are an integral part of fantasy – they’re everywhere and come in every complexity, from pointing a wand at something and barking out mangled Babelfish Latin or Ancient Greek (Harry Potter) to eating and digesting metal (Mistborn) to spells carved on any and every kind of object you can find (Septimus Heap). That’s part of what makes them fun – and if you don’t like one, that’s the good news. There’s a wealth of fantasy out there to read; I’m sure there’ll be one more to your liking.

    Thanks for reading! If you’d like to support me in the wake of my Patreon’s premature and tragic death, you can donate to my Ko-Fi, or come join me over on SubscribeStar! You’ll get everything 48 hours early, as well as a bonus post once a month.

    CITED WORKS:

    Lord of the Rings, The Silmarillion – J.R.R. Tolkien
    Star Wars (film series) – George Lucas
    The Stormlight Archive, Mistborn – Brandon Sanderson
    The Belgariad – David Eddings
    The Fifth Season (Broken Earth series) – N.K. Jemisin
    Works of Sarah J. Maas (general)
    Works of Rick Riordan (general)
    Babel – R.F. Kuang
    Children of Blood and Bone – Tomi Adeyemi
    Shadow and Bone – Leigh Bardugo
    A Song of Ice and Fire – George R.R. Martin
    Dark Souls (video game series) – NamCo Bandai, Hidetaka Miyazaki
    Final Fantasy (video game series) – Square Enix, creator Hironobu Sakaguchi
    League of Legends (online game) – Riot Games, several writers
    World of Warcraft (online game)– Blizzard Entertainment, several writers
    Gunnerkrigg Court (webcomic) – Tom Siddell
    Girl Genius (webcomic)– Phil and Kaja Folio
    Sandman (comic) – Neil Gaiman
    Doctor Who (tv series) – created by Verity Lambert and Sydney Newman
    “The Rings of Akhaten” – Series 7 (Modern), Episode 8: W – Neil Cross, D – Farren Blackburn
    “The Impossible Planet” + “The Satan Pit” – Series 2 (Modern), Episode 8/9: W – Matt Jones, D – James Strong
    “The Pandorica Opens” + “The Big Bang” – Series 5 (Modern), Episode 12/13: W – Steven Moffat, D – Toby Haynes
    100 Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Márquez
    The Witcher (novel series) – Andrzej Sapkowski
    Fullmetal Alchemist (manga) – Hiromu Arakawa
    Valdemar (novel series) – Mercedes Lackey
    Middlegame – Seanan McGuire
    Fall of the House of Usher (miniseries) – Mike Flanagan
    Septimus Heap (novel series) – Angie Sage



  • The Gremlin’s Library (Rerun) – Devolution by Ami J. Sanghvi

    January 14th, 2025

    This is a little bit more complicated of a rerun post; I initially did this as a Reedsy review, back when I was still doing those! I ended up leaving Reedsy for a few reasons, one of which being that I didn’t feel comfortable doing free reviews when the authors were paying for them. Still, I encountered books I never would have run into otherwise, and I’ll be moving the full reviews over here as part of my reruns! (Besides, everyone has different moral stances on this — I have no issues if you don’t agree with me on this one, it’s just about my personal comfort.)

    Link: https://elliottdunstan.com/2020/01/18/icymi-reedsy-review-devolution-by-ami-j-sanghvi/

    Gorgeously wrought prose poetry – sometimes overcomplicated – that challenges religious assumptions with tragic fury

    Synopsis

    It was upon the poetic pages of his renowned Divine Comedy that Dante Alighieri ascended. He famously commenced his journey in Inferno, and later reached Paradiso. The speaker in Devolution, however, is on a slightly different journey. Rather than drawing nearer to Paradiso, she can only journey further away from bliss. It is by God’s design that our tragic heroine continues to slip and fall, and it is by His will that she descends. Will she find redemption before the pages run inkless, or will she be doomed to the depraved depths of Inferno forevermore? Only Time will tell.

    Ami J. Sanghvi’s ‘Devolution’ is a rare beast; a collection of prose poetry with the fire and bite of 20- and 21st century confessional and political literature, and the linguistic mastery and complexity of the 18th-19th century classics. ‘Devolution’ is an intertextual work – like fanfiction, it engages with a prior text, in this case Dante’s Inferno, and challenges its ideas. ‘Devolution’ does an absolutely beautiful job of this. It pulls out a lot of Inferno’s assumptions, challenges notions about the Christian God himself, and beneath it all is an anger that many of us can understand if not directly share. I also really appreciate that the author of this collection – a direct response to Dante and a criticism of Christianity’s historical doctrines – is a queer, Indian woman.

    Particularly of note is how hard it is to have writing this complex and flowery carry an emotional punch. Often, writers have to choose between emotional weight and ‘artistic’ prose. Sanghvi disposes with this choice entirely and just does both – it takes a while to unwind the sentences, but the effort is worth it when the impact hits.

    I personally really, really enjoyed ‘Devolution’ – that said, it’s for a niche audience. The writing is gorgeous, but hard to follow if you’re not practiced with reading very dense, very high register work (think John Donne, Nathaniel Hawthorne, etc.) It’s very deliberately done, but definitely something to go in knowing. Additionally, while you don’t have to have read Dante’s Inferno, it’s best to go in with at least a beginner’s knowledge of Inferno and the criticisms of Christian doctrine involved. I also wish ‘Devolution’ was longer – there’s so much opportunity to examine specific circles of hell – but the author’s prelude mentions that this was written during specific circumstances, which makes that understandable.

    Four stars to ‘Devolution’, and I’m excited to see more of Sanghvi’s work!

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  • Behind The Curtain (Rerun Post): Anti-Shipping is a Bad Faith Position

    January 13th, 2025

    The all-time high performer of my website! I’m a little stunned at the reach this one has gotten. Like with my Metaphorical Incest post, I won’t be reposting the whole thing, but the link to the original post is below:

    Behind the Curtain: Anti-Shipping is a Bad Faith Position

    While much like Metaphorical Incest, there are some things I’d clean up, I’m still quite happy with the column itself. I want to get back to these kinds of columns – I’ve just been so burnt out and tired.

    One fun note: This post made it onto Dreamwidth’s “FailFandomAnon” community, where it was found interesting and fascinating – right up until they “recognized” me from some prior hit posts, at which point they suddenly cared about the veracity of their sources. “I’m not taking fandom advice from THAT guy” rings a little hollow from an anon community, that’s all.

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  • Genrefvckery (Rerun Post): Album Review – RESIST by Within Temptation

    January 12th, 2025

    My favourite band of all time! Seriously, every year they keep ending up on the top of my Wrapped and I don’t even have an excuse. This review of RESIST is also one of the more in-depth album reviews I think I’ve ever done.

    Link to full post: https://elliottdunstan.com/2019/07/22/album-review-within-temptation-resist-2019/

    Within Temptation has been one of my favourite bands for more than a decade – Sharon Den Adel was one of my first queer crushes, and they were the first band to really get me interested in metal. (It’s amazing what going from ‘Memories’ to ‘Enter’ will do for a slippery slope into symphonic soundtracks.)

    Not surprisingly, then, they’re one of the few artists that I have kept up with. Often, artists I listen to a lot will release new material and I’ll find out years later. I did miss the release of this one by a few months, but that means that I’m listening to it for the first time untainted by reviews, bad or good.

    MY FIRST IMPRESSIONS:

    WT has always danced with genre limitations – their very first album was gothic metal complete with beauty-and-the-beast vocals and death metal growls, only to slide smoothly into Celtic and symphonic. This is, after all, the band that collaborated with Xzibit. However, this is the most metal they’ve sounded in a while. While The Unforgiving and Hydra were great, they were closer to hard rock than anything else. In sharp contrast, the guitars on RESIST are crunchier, the drums are louder, the vocals are rougher.

    That’s not to say that RESIST is pure metal. Far from it. This time out, while returning to some of their roots, WT has used a lot more electronic sounds and instruments in building their songs. “The Reckoning” uses static and synth to round out its sound, and the blithely weird “Supernova” almost sounds like it belongs in a club. (That song specifically reminds me of the Unhum Remix of “On Whom The Moon Doth Shine” by Theatre of Tragedy; while ToT’s venture into electronica didn’t go nearly as well, that particular remix is another fantastic blend of metal and electronic affectations.)

    The collaborations have also continued, although none of them are quite as jaw-dropping as the previous album. Jacoby Shaddix of Papa Roach, Anders Friden of In Flames, and Jasper Steverlinck of Arid all lend their voices to the album, and they all work pretty well. Friden is probably the best of them, his death-metal snarls on ‘Raise Your Banner’ really adding something to the song instead of serving as just an extra layer of vocals. I do miss how I felt when I first read the track listing of Hydra and saw Tarja, Howard Jones and Xzibit’s names, but different collaborations happen for different reasons.

    I also enjoy the new maturity of sound on display. While the songs being similar lengths/tempos is a major downside, the lyrics, sounds and concepts are far less cheesy than previous WT efforts. Some of that is RESIST’s status as a concept album without it dedicating every song to it; a lot of it is a new resonance to the lyrics. (More on the lyrics in a bit.)

    INSTRUMENTATION AND LYRICS:

    Sharon Den Adel is a self-taught vocalist, and while I adore her swooping soprano (there hasn’t been enough of it on the last few albums) there have always been moments where her tendency to stick to what she’s comfortable doing have been obvious. On this album, however, I really notice how much her voice has grown and developed over the last two decades. Of course, there’s still some cheese; while ‘Holy Ground’ is my favourite song off the album, that first moment of Den Adel trying to sound more Rock than usual is a kicker.

    In terms of instrumentation, unfortunately, at points the backing music gets a bit busy. A lot of this I’m willing to attribute to mixing, but while the ‘wall of sound’ works for a lot of RESIST, there are songs that could have benefited from more distinct instruments. ‘Raise Your Banner’ and ‘In Vain’ in particular suffered from a certain muddiness, only made more obvious by the inclusion of instrumental versions on the album (oops).

    Lyrically, some songs are better than others, and there are still some awkward moments, but the consistent upward movement seen in previous albums is still there. One of my favourite lyrics is the chorus of ‘Holy Ground’:

    Burying the truth with lies
    Fed up how you justify
    And now I hate it
    And how I hate it
    You’re so despicable
    When you’re acting unreasonable
    And I hate it
    And I hate it
    Your words like firing guns, bullets raining
    The way you hurt me ’cause you never wanna face it
    Your words like firing guns, bullets raining
    Bullets raining, you never wanna face it

    SONG FAVOURITES:

    1. ‘Holy Ground’, definitely. It reminds me a bit of ‘The Cross’ from The Heart of Everything but with a harder edge – the Terminator 2 Sarah Connor to the OG, one might say.
    2. ‘The Reckoning’ has an iconic opening, and the mix of den Adel and Shaddix’s vocals is pretty much perfect.
    3. ‘Supernova’ is weird, but the weird is what makes it work – it’s a dancey, electronic symphonic metal track, which is a new experience for me. And the lyrics are great, too!
    4. ‘Blood for Freedom’ is the hardest song on the album and it really gets the blood pumping.
    5. ‘Firelight’s lyrics get a little bit Adele at time, but the instrumentation in particular is unique – the kind of thing you expect from darkwave rather than symphonic metal.

    Most of my opinions are unchanged, but ironically, I think Firelight has been the most enduring song for me from this album. The other songs are good; but Firelight is something special. Holy Ground is just super good though — I was rereading this and it started playing in my head again, which also harks back to what I said about them being on my Wrapped every year. I might listen to them too much.

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  • Genrefvckery (Rerun Post): Album Review – Father of All Motherf*ckers by Green Day

    January 11th, 2025

    ….No way has it actually been five years since this album came out. Jesus. Everything is so much, all the time.

    Here’s the link to the original post: https://wordpress.com/post/elliottdunstan.com/1131

    Green Day is one of the rock bands that has been in the backdrop of most of my life. ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’ showed up on the radio shortly after I moved to Canada from Britain at the tender age of nine; American Idiot introduced me to punk and emo, and as I learned how to navigate the internet, I fell in love with their older albums (Dookie, Nimrod, Warning and even their bizarre debut 1,039/Smoothed Out Slappy Hours). 

    Of course, it’s not until now as an adult that the fury behind a lot of their music is something I can fully understand. It’s why Father of All Motherf-ckers is an album I’ve been eagerly awaiting – and it hasn’t disappointed. It’s a short, high-energy, pop-punk party, slipping cynical and hypercritical lyrics behind fast-paced guitar riffs and Joan Jett samples. It’s been out for less than 48 hours (at the time of me writing this) and I already have half the songs stuck in my head.

    What I find interesting, then, is the amount of criticism the album has been getting for ‘playing it safe’. Quite aside from some of the obvious issues with this (the album cover is a spoof of American Idiot with a smoking cartoon unicorn), there seems to be an odd conception within music circles that Green Day has said all there is to say. To which I ask, why are short, snappy songs less important or less valuable? Why are songs meant to make you dance immediately less relevant, whether or not they have lyrics about turning bullets into rockets, counting money and stabbing people in the heart?

    The answer is, they’re not. Jesus of Suburbia is an incredible song, but it’s Holiday that people remember. Post-rock, wandering explorations of how desperate and depressing our world is are fine and good, but my favourite Trump hit-song has been the blistering and short Unamerican by Dead Sara. You can diss the American government in your experimental songs all you want, but Green Day knows what they’re good at and what the suicidal, desperate masses of millenials want – something that’s angry, but also a little fun. We are, after all, the masters of dadaist humour, and Green Day (a Gen X band, and not boomers as people have tried to call them – Kurt Cobain is rolling in his grave) are our precursors in sarcasm and dark jokes.

    Now for a track-by-track breakdown:

    ‘Father of All…’ – 8/10. This is what got me excited for the album – it’s the perfect meld of Dookie-style grunge-rock and 21st Century Breakdown/American Idiot political criticism.

    ‘Fire Ready Aim’ – 7/10. Not as fun as ‘Father of All…’ but still a fast-paced, pop-punk song in the true tradition of it. The lyrics are a little undirected, although ‘rip it up on retribution’ is a pretty fun line.

    ‘Oh Yeah!’ – 10/10. My unexpected favourite, not only does this sample Joan Jett’s ‘Do You Wanna Touch Me’, it donates proceeds to a sexual assault charity because of Gary Glitter’s unsavory past and uses the unabashedly-sexual song as a base for some of the best poli-poetry on the album. “I got blood on my hands in my pockets/That’s what you get turning bullets into rockets.”

    ‘Meet Me On The Roof’ – 6/10. Fun, but ultimately forgettable – it’s the only true ‘party song’ on the album and as a result, it’s catchy and not much else.

    ‘I Was A Teenage Teenager’ – 8/10. I didn’t expect to like this one from the title, but it’s so nice to hear songs from older bands that acknowledge that being a teenager fucking sucks. It manages to be catchy while still being faintly depressing and a wonderful outlet for the adolescent rage I still remember very well.

    ‘Stab You In the Heart’ – 9/10. AMAZINGLY catchy and vicious. It manages to take on the narrator’s POV of a jealous, murdering husband without ever coming off as taking his side – I’m reminded of what ‘Send Her To Heaven’ by All-American Rejects tried and failed to do.

    ‘Sugar Youth’ – 8/10. Reminds me of ‘Ballroom Blitz’ by Sweet mixed by Green Day staple ‘She’s A Rebel’. I actually like this much more than ‘She’s A Rebel’ – it’s more complex, and the lyrics feel like a mix between a drug high and a bipolar hypomanic episode, probably deliberately.

    ‘Junkies on a High’ – 8/10. Probably the weirdest song on the album, but I like it. It’s chilled out and slower, with a lot of MCR and White Stripes vibes. It’s more somber, while still being immensely sarcastic, and told from the perspective of a junkie watching the world end. The chorus gives me hella frisson, especially the ending line. “…and we’ll watch the world, BUUUUUUURN!”

    ‘Take the Money and Crawl’ – 7/10. This is one of the few songs that I’ll say was overproduced – this would have been fine as a straightforward, pared-down punk-rock banger, and while some of the stuff on the instruments is fine, I found myself wanting to hear BJA’s voice unfiltered.

    ‘Graffitia’ – 10/10. A mix of gorgeous (and harmonized!) vocals with simple and hard-hitting guitar riffs and heartbroken lyrics, ‘Graffitia’ is a worthy and nostalgic successor to ‘Jesus of Suburbia’ and ‘Before the Lobotomy’. It’s not acknowledged enough how good Green Day is at – very specifically – hitting on the ennui and overwhelmed sadness at the core of modern anger. There’s too many things for us to care about at once, but we’re trying.

    Green Day’s Father of All, Motherf-ckers is streaming on Spotify!

    I more or less stand by these ratings, although I’d probably push each of them about one notch down; I’ve realized that I get extremely excited about new music and it’s hard for me to give entirely fair ratings! Of these songs, only about half of them have staying power, but that’s still more than the haters would ever have copped to.

    Side note: I also have this album in a limited edition bright pink vinyl. It’s one of my favourite things.

    That said, I’d be amiss if I didn’t also bring up my heartbreak over Green Day in the last year; despite their strong political convictions and the career they’ve had, they haven’t said a word about Palestine. It’s hard not to hold that against a band when they’ve literally built their career on being anti-establishment. So the music is good – it’s always been good – but a lot of the political sentiment rings a bit hollow for me now.

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